


Priority Ops: Repopulating Heleus

by ziskandra



Category: Mass Effect, Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Found Family, Post-Game, Ryder family secrets
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-11
Updated: 2017-06-10
Packaged: 2018-10-17 16:16:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 23,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10597644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ziskandra/pseuds/ziskandra
Summary: They have a home now, and what comes nextseemspretty straight-forward. Get married, have kids.Unfortunately, it's not that simple.(Or, the story of how Sara Ryder confronts her issues surrounding family in the pursuit of her happy ending.She gets a lot of help along the way.)





	1. Home Sweet Home

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is the first time in almost a decade that I've posted a long, multi-chaptered fic. I am both excited and terrified to be sharing this with you all and appreciate any and all feedback anyone might have throughout the process, especially in regards to things that worked/didn't work for you so that I might improve my future writing! 
> 
> At this juncture, I would like to extend a heartfelt thank you to [ladyiszy](http://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyiszy) for being my beta reader, and also just a generally amazing human being and friend. 
> 
> Updates are currently slated to be on a weekly basis. ♥
> 
> (Takes place in the same continuity as [All In](http://archiveofourown.org/series/691383) but reading of those works isn't essential to understanding this one!)

**1\. Home Sweet Home**

The door slid open and Liam settled the box he’d been carrying down just inside the doorway. “Looks like this is us,” he said, before reaching for Sara’s wrist.

Adjusting their hands until their fingers were intertwined, Sara threw Liam a sidelong glance. “Setting down roots… it still doesn’t feel real, does it?” She threw her head back and took in a deep breath, eyes closed. “I can't believe we did it. An actual home." The apartment was small, but it was exactly the right side for what they needed . Liam, of course, had dropped hints of more: marriage, _children_ , and Sara had laughed and played along. She wanted the things he'd spoken off, but there was a twisting nervousness in her gut that foretold that she wasn't quite as ready as he was.

"Just us," Liam murmured, running his thumb over the back of Sara's hand. "And thanks to everyone pitching in, we're almost done." His voice dropped as he continued, approximating a rumble that Sara could feel, rather than hear, emanating from his chest. "Just have the new couch to break in. If you know what I mean--"

Sara cut him off with a light slap to the chest, disentangling her hand from his grasp. "Not right now, Kosta," she answered, with the best smile she could muster in the moment. It was smaller than her usual ones, and despite her best efforts, she couldn't quite make it reach her eyes. She knew that Liam would notice.

He did notice, his expression softening into something gentler, less playful, than it had been before. "We can just sit on it," he assured her. She nodded, somewhat stiffly, before heading in the direction of the couch in question. It was brand new, and she suddenly felt a pang of regret. The old couch was still in the Tempest's storage room, but they -- the whole crew, really -- had been spending less and less time on it of late. She'd gotten used to spending most of her time on a spaceship, missed being able to feel the hum of the drive core under her chest and being able to see the whole wide galaxy out of her bedroom window.

Meridian didn't get sunlight, not in the traditional sense. Looking up at where the sky should be and seeing nothing but the planet's surface continue on indefinitely made her feel _trapped_. But this was her home now, and she was determined to make the best of it. She settled uneasily on the new couch, one leg propped over the other, springs barely moving underneath the addition of her weight. Wrong, all wrong. 

Liam came over with their beers, handing her a cup before sitting down on the couch beside her. He left a gap between where their knees _could_ touch, if she'd let them, and for that, she was grateful. Bringing her drink to her lips, she hesitated instead of taking a sip. "I'm sorry," she started, and when she sensed Liam ready to interject with reassurance, she added, with a small shake of the head, "I'm just overwhelmed, I think. Never really had a _home_ before. Not like this." A sudden thought ran through her mind; there was a step of the process she'd neglected. She reached out with her beer to clink it against Liam's. "To new beginnings?"

"To new beginnings, Sara Ryder," Liam responded with a smile that put her at ease. The thrum of nervousness still sat uneasily underneath her skin, but with this man by her side, she sometimes felt like she could get through anything. Taking a sip of his beer, he asked, "Never had a home, huh?"

She shrugged, feeling the tension roll of her shoulders with the first sip of her own drink. She raised one foot to rest it on the coffee table; it _was_ her home, right? She could do that here. "You know. None of us ever in the same place at once. Always moving. I mean. This is nice. It's just going to take some getting used to."

"You had Scott, though," Liam said with an incline of the head. "Nice guy. Looking forward to getting to know him better."

Sara laughed. "Bet you are. I'd still kill to know what you were two were discussing when I walked in on you two that time."

"Just getting to know my future brother-in-law, that's all," Liam answered, so easily that Sara could almost believe him. Her instinctive response was impossible to repress however; she shrunk against the armrest, feet curling up to move underneath her.

Liam was already responding, running a hand through his hair. "Ah, shit, Sara, I'm sorry. I know I should've talked about it with you first. Do things proper. Still do. You deserve it. Unless, that is--?" he trailed off, but Sara didn't need to be a mind-reader to realise what would've have come next. Even she could hear the hesitation and doubt that had crept into his voice, and it made her skin crawl, the itching feeling she'd been feeling in her blood rising to the surface. She loved Liam, loved him a lot in fact, and she didn't want him to feel like this. To not believe in _them_.

"I want it, Liam," she breathed, reaching for his hand as though the contact could reassure him of just how serious she was being. "I want it all. When I think about the future, I see you in it. It's just a lot to take in at once, that's all. Now that I've had some time to breathe, I've just realised how much I've had to push down and ignore to keep going." She slumped against him, then, shimmying down to rest her head against his chest.

Liam took a deep whittling breath, causing Sara's head to bob up and down in the process. "And I admire you for it," he said, running his fingers through her hair, tucking loose strands behind her ear. "We all do."

"I just did what I had to do," Sara insisted, a seed of discontent burrowing its way into her heart. "Dad didn't really give me a choice."

The words seemed to come easily to Liam because he didn't hesitate for a moment before assuring her. "He believed in you when you didn't believe in yourself. So do I."

She wanted to convince herself of the truth of his words but couldn't, so in lieu of saying anything in response she instead wrapped herself even more tightly around him. "Mhm," she murmured, a noise of passive contentment. Drinking her beer would be difficult from this angle, but she wasn't really in the mood any more. Suddenly, all she wanted to do was _rest._  

Liam's hand left her hair to start smoothing down her back, helping more than she would've anticipated with her bubbling anxiety. "Never had siblings of my own," he starts, fingers trailing over her body as though trying to count the vertebrae of spine, "but you knew that already. Must've been nice, having someone your age around, growing up."

Sara yawned, soft and sad. "It was," she answered simply, choosing to leave out the part where they had went their separate ways almost immediately after their eighteenth birthday. It wasn't anything that Liam didn't already know, after all. The twisting in her gut made a return, one that she knew was borne of anticipation. It wasn't that she'd been dishonest with him. It was just that he'd always been so open, so loving with her, and she almost felt she wasn't giving enough in return. There was no productive outcome of airing that particular insecurity, so she kept it close and tight to her chest. 

Maybe one day he'd see her for who she truly was, and he wouldn't want to be with her anymore. It seemed silly now, wrapped in his arms, enveloped in his warmth, but it didn't stop her from worrying anyway. As a kid, she’d never anticipated having a _family_  when she’d thought about her future. It still seemed absurd. Suddenly, she recalled a conversation she’d once had, which only made things seem all the more stranger. Before she knew it, her shoulders were shaking in confusion and mirth.

“You know what Gil once told me?” Sara asked Liam once her laughs had tapered off. 

“What?” Liam asked, still rubbing reassuring circles over her lower back; fortunately, he didn’t seem to perturbed by the sudden changing of her moods. 

“He once said that the Andromeda Initiative was basically a glorified dating service.” 

Liam laughed, deep and warm and rich. “Yeah? Then I guess we’re one of its success stories."

***

“So, when’s the housewarming?” Scott asked, falling into step with Sara as she walked across the Hyperion’s atrium dressed head-to-toe in full combat gear. 

She’d recognise her twin’s voice anywhere, but at times like this, it didn’t make her any happier to see him. “Bit busy here,” she said with as much as amusement as she could muster.

“Yeah, right. About that,” Scott started, eyes darkening as a sudden thought occurred to him. “Wait! Don’t tell me you’ve already had it without me. Oof. You really know how to break my heart.” He clutched a hand to his chest in dramatic exaggeration.

Sara swatted at his shoulder. “Ass. To answer your question, we kind of haven’t gotten around to it. Other stuff going on, you know.”

Scott nodded along. “Right, right,” he said. “Everyone wants a piece of _the Pathfinder_.”

At his words, and their inflection, Sara found her own eyes darkening. She wished she had her trusty shotgun in her hands, both for its familiar and comforting weight and also because she was half-certain she could murder Scott right now. She loved her brother, she really did, but at times like these? Well, she wouldn’t wish him back into his coma, but a deep and hidden part of her couldn’t help but think things had been easier back then. “They sure do,” she answered absently, before deciding that this was a battle she wanted to fight. “By the way? This?” She waved vaguely. “Counts as sticking your nose in.”

Her brother sighed the long-suffering sigh of a man who had always trailed after his stubborn and strong-willed sister. “Yes, yes, I know I promised I wouldn’t stick my nose in your business, and here I am, breaking my promise, but I can’t ignore this. Sara.  _Sare._  Going into battle without any backup?”

She scowled. “Not like you’re well enough to come with. Could use another gun.” Sara’s not even looking at her brother but she could almost see Scott throwing his hands up in the air in exasperation.  

“Yes, yes, exactly, this is precisely my point. Okay, firstly: you? Not my doctor. But more importantly, why isn’t Liam going with you?"

“He doesn’t want to,” Sara lied easily, although she knew that she wouldn’t fool Scott for a second.

“Riiight. That man, there? Madly in love with you. Just in case you hadn’t noticed. I was pretty out of it at the end of the big fight and all, but I heard about what he said at the end of the battle.” 

Sara wished she could quicken her pace to at least _attempt_  to lose Scott, but she was closing in on where the Tempest was docked, and instead, she slowed to an almost crawl. “Didn’t everyone?” 

Scott slowed to a stroll next to her, his longer legs giving him the advantage no matter what way Sara wanted to swing this conversation. “Yeah. Which just backs up what I said, by the way. Look, I know I haven’t been around much — not my choice, by the way — but last I heard? You two? Inseperable. Reminds me of—”  
  
This wasn’t a conversation Sara wanted to be having, especially in a public, so she waved an irritable hand in Scott’s direction. “I get it. I just. Need the space, all right? Also: _shut up_.” 

“‘Space,’” Scott laughed, “lots of that out there.” He mimed closing his mouth shut with a zipper when Sara turned to glare at him. They were almost at their destination.  


In the distance, just outside the ship, stood Jaal. He gave Sara a wave, which she breezily returned. Sara turned to Scott with a smirk. “Anyway, it’s not like I'm going alone.” She rolled her shoulders. “We’re hitting up Havarl. So, decisions had to be made.”

Scott sighed again, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I’m trusting your judgement. But, sis?” 

“Yeah?” she asked, nodding as Cora slipped down the Tempest’s boarding ramp, ready and armoured and loaded.

“Just… don’t break his heart, all right?”

She didn’t want to, but something in her insides twisted at Scott’s warning. Her brother knew her well enough to know that she might very well need it. She’d never had much luck with her romantic endeavours in the past: flings here and there, another, more serious thing that still wouldn’t have gone anywhere even if she hadn’t decided to follow her father and brother into another galaxy. Everything that had developed since she’d arrived in Andromeda? Still seemed like a fairytale. The plot line of a action-romance vid. Not her life. And yet. She swallowed her doubts, and smiled. 

“I’ll try my best, Scott.”

“Not much else I can do,” he said, holding his arms out wide. “Touchy-feely time?”

Sara wrapped her arms around him in a heartbeat. 

“Get back safe,” he whispered to her before stepping away to make his exit.

Cora watched Scott leave, eyes flitting from her twin to Jaal, still standing just behind her. “Trouble?” Cora asked, just as Jaal opened his mouth to make his own commentary. She passed a shotgun to Sara. Sara’s shotgun. Suddenly, she felt a little bit better. 

“Not planning on it,” she answered. “But it never hurts to be prepared.”

“Agreed,” Jaal said as they all turned to board the Tempest.

Her nerves still skittered slightly underneath her skin. When she got back, Liam was going to be _mad_. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hit me up on Tumblr at @commspecialist if you wanna keep in touch/see how I'm doing/watch me yell as I undertake this process!


	2. Home Truth

**2\. Home Truth**

When Liam returned from Prodromos, Sara was nowhere to be seen. Liam wasn't an idiot. He knew Sara hadn't been herself lately. Still, he hadn't expected her to simply disappear without a trace. Part of him understood why she'd done it, but it caused a strong feeling of foreboding to settle in his gut. Why couldn't she just talk to him? What had he done wrong? Had he screwed things up already? The thoughts swirled around in his mind, but they did nothing but agitate him. He wasn't going to get answers like this, and he was torn between going searching for them or finding a distraction to throw himself in. God knew they had enough to be working on, and right now, he'd like to be doing something with his hands.

It was shortly after he found Sara's note attached to the fridge, her penmanship all hard lines and contained angles, that there came a knock at the door. Liam pulled up the security feed, and at first when he saw bright blue eyes staring back at him, he thought it was Sara. His heart washed with relief before common sense kicked in. He blinked once, twice, before realising it wasn’t indeed Sara but someone with those very same eyes. Scott.

“Hey,” Sara’s brother called, waving in the general direction of the security cam. “I know I’m dropping by unannounced and all, but, can I come in?” He bent at the knees, lifting a carton up into Liam’s field of view. “I brought beer!”

Liam couldn't help but laugh, even though it still did little to ease his nerves. He didn’t know the guy well, yet, but from what he did know? He liked him. And maybe Scott’s sudden appearance here had something to do with Sara’s _disappearance_. It was surely too much to be a coincidence. “All right, all right,” he acquiesced, pressing the button for the door’s override on his omnitool. “Come on up.”

Once he heard Scott struggling to heft the carton up the stairs, Liam popped out himself to help him carry it inside. Scott’s breath was heavy with exertion, fingers pale where he’d been gripping the box, his forehead a fine sheen of sweat. “Please don’t tell the doc I’ve been overdoing it,” Scott huffed. “I should be able to carry a fucking _box_ …”

The box, by Liam’s reckoning, weighed at least a good fifteen kilograms. Hardly anything to a man like Scott at the peak of his physical conditioning, but he _wasn’t_ , and therein lay the rub. He raised an eyebrow. “I won’t if you stop,” he offered as a compromise.

Scott threw his head back and let out an exaggerated sigh as they settled the box down in the kitchen. “Oh, God, not you too.”

It struck Liam then, as he busied himself with opening the carton, just how similar the twins were. It made him smile, despite how frustrated he currently was with Sara. Was this galaxy really ready for _both_  of Alec Ryder’s kids?

“This is just like Sare,” Scott muttered from where he was stood by the fridge, finger running over the note Liam had discovered just before the other man had arrived.

“Is this the part where you tell me why you’re really here?” Liam asked, handing some to Scott to put away; they wouldn’t all fit in the fridge, but he’d like to at least try.

“That obvious, huh?” Scott answered with a laugh.

“That obvious.”

Excess beer safely stowed, Liam busied himself with pouring one for himself, and one for Scott. “Tell me about it,” he asked, doing his best to keep the trace of neediness out of his voice. He’d always been the kind of person who’d striven to understand people, know what made them tick so he _could_  help them, if and when they needed it. The fact that he’d so obviously missed the mark with the person he cared most about in this whole galaxy still stung.

“All right,” Scott agreed, “but let’s get comfortable. Nice place, by the way!” He cocked his head to the side, as though appreciating the architecture of the ceiling. It looked to Liam like most of the other buildings that they'd built in Heleus since their arrival. “Still waiting for the housewarming, though.”

They settled on the couch, a look of deep thought settling on Scott’s face, deepening the thought lines on his forehead. He was a young bloke, young _looking_  even, but the expression aged him. “Okay,” he started slowly, hardly looking at Liam, “Firstly, I know it’s not my business. But secondly, I saw Sara before she went off-planet and just… thought you deserved a better explanation than whatever the hell that was.” He waved a hand at the fridge. "If you want to hear it."

Scott's repeated hesitation made Liam wonder just how many sternly-worded warnings Sara had given him about getting involved in her business. He wondered, too, whether he should accept Scott's offer. Possible that Sara would see it as some transgression of boundaries. And yet. The situation seemed to warrant it. He closed his eyes, taking a deep sip of his beer. It helped, somewhat. "Okay," he agreed, settling back into the couch cushions, "hit me with it."

"Ah, shit," Scott sighed, "I didn't actually think this far ahead." He fiddled with his glass, twirling it between his fingers. If they were drinking real beer, out of real bottles, old-school style, Scott Ryder was definitely the kind of guy who'd rip off the label. "Just first, let me tell you, it's got nothing to do with you, all right? She's always been a bit like this." As though sensing Liam would seek clarification, Scott shrugged his shoulders gently before continuing. "Things get all up in her head, under her skin, and then _poof,_ she's gone. Always took after Dad more, for the better and the worse."

Liam couldn't miss the way Scott's eyes clouded over; he nudged the other man in the shoulder with his beer. "I'm sorry," he said, because what else could he say? He didn't know what it was like to lose a parent, not the way Sara and Scott did. He'd left his behind, yeah, but they'd gone on to live long and fruitful lives without him. He'd made a _decision_. A choice. One the twins had never had.

The corner of Scott's mouth curved upward, a sad and tiny smile. "It's okay. I had a lot of time to think while I was stuck in that coma. It's more... I wish I could have been there. For Sara."

Liam sagged slightly at Scott's words, because he knew that he'd tried his best in those early Andromeda days, hell, the whole crew of the Tempest had. But it still hadn't been enough.  

As though reading Liam's mind, Scott threw him a shrewd look. "I know you love her. And I think you're good for her. But you don't know her like I do, and honestly? That's probably for the best." 

There was something about the look in Scott's eyes that told Liam that if he wanted to dig more deeply, Scott would probably let him. But he’d heard enough for now, and maybe recklessly pushing Scott's buttons _would_  just tell him things he was better off not knowing. Sara's not even here but it was hard to ignore the way she'd affected him, especially after she'd voiced her disappointment in him after the mess with Verand. The old Liam would have pushed and pushed and pushed. Now? He was more cautious, and his nerves were somewhat calmed, and that was all he could really ask for. "So, I left for Eos, and she took the opportunity to ...go?" he asked, just to be certain about the timeline of the whole thing. 

"With the _Tempest_  to Havarl," Scott confirmed. "She should be back soon enough. Give or take a few days. Still not certain about the travel time between places here." He took a long gulp of his beer, then wiped his mouth with his sleeve. "You know, one day, they're gonna have a proper comm buoy network all set up again, and everyone will be able to _communicate_. Maybe." He winked.

Liam ran a hand through his hair. He really, really hoped he hadn't screwed things up.

***

Sara's return was marked by as little fanfare as possible. Liam was dozing off on the couch when he heard the door slide open. It could only be one person, the only other person who had access to their little house-slash-unit, whatever it was called. Liam felt his heart thump erratically in his chest as he heard Sara shuffle around in the bedroom before heading to the kitchen. He'd never been good at putting off confrontation, so he pushed himself up and forced himself to talk to her. He'd never really been _good_  at this part of relationships; everything had always been fine until reality had set in, and that's when things got hard and when Liam started to feel out of his depth. Ended things, usually, before his temper did.  

But he'd also never been this stupidly in love before, and with everything he and Sara had been through together? Hell, it still felt like something straight out of a vid. He took a deep breath and tried to remember all the other relationship advice his dad had ever given him. _People like to feel they're being heard_ rose to the forefront of his mind, and it made him wonder if maybe he hadn't been listening enough. Sara wasn't ready for the kind of commitments that he had taken for granted. That was fine. He still loved her, and so long as she still loved _him_ , they could work something out. Together. 

Still. His throat felt raw and tight, like he was about to cry, as he approached her. She was standing by the refrigerator, stripped down to a singlet top and leggings, fastidiously removing the note she'd left there, the note that had Liam felt had been mocking him ever since he'd arrived home. "So," he started, doing his best to keep his voice even, "are we going to talk about it?" 

Sara jumped, almost as though she hadn't expected him around, hadn't given his presence a second thought, a flash of guilt passing through her bright blue eyes before her gaze hardened. He'd recognise that look anywhere. _Doubling down_. With a shrug so careful it seemed practiced, she crumpled the piece of paper in one fist. "I left a note," she deadpanned. 

" _That's_  your explanation?" Liam said, more sharply than he anticipated. "'Hey, Liam, just have some things that need doing. Be back in a bit.'" He shut his eyes as he did his best to get a handle on his emotions. On one hand, yeah, Sara deserved to be listened to, and maybe he hadn't been doing a good enough job of that lately. On the other, his own feelings were still valid, and being left so thoroughly out of the loop like this? Well, it made him feel a bit shit, to be honest.

There was a moment of silence as Sara rustled around in the fridge, with a confused mutter about why the hell there was so much beer inside it. Eventually resurfacing with a large bottle of reconstituted orange juice, she took a deep sip straight from the container, wiping at her mouth with her wrist. "Yeah, that note," she answered with a jerk of her head. "Sorry it wasn't good enough for you or anything." 

Sara's stubborn passive-aggression unfurled something tightly coiled within his chest, it crawled up his neck before he could quite stop himself. "God _damn it_ , Sara," he started, eyes bunched up tight as though it would stop the inevitable tears from falling, "I was _worried_  about you." He'd pretty much watched her die three times now and he still hadn't cried in front of her. Not really. The thing was, Liam had never been ashamed of his emotions; had told her, even, about how he still cried at night when he thought about his parents, the Milky Way and the life he left behind. Yes, even though he loved his new life _now_. But Sara has always been his strength, his rock, and as long as she was happy, he was happy, and now she was in obvious distress and he still wasn't _enough_.

He watched Sara's face drop out of the corner of her eye; she set the juice down on the corner as she whispered to herself, "Oh my God, I'm such a jerk." She reached out for him, a hand hovering just inches from his arm. He recognised the gesture from her own need for personal space; she was never the type of person to touch without permission, and also the kind of person who liked to be asked first. Liam, conversely, had always been very tactile. Dating Sara had been a learning curve.

Taking the offer as intended, he took her hand and drew her into a hug, burying his head into her hair and inhaling deeply through his nose. She smelt like some sort of angaran flower that he couldn't quite place, but what was most important was that she was there and real and he hadn't _lost_  her. "You might not have come _back_ ," he whispered against her ear, and he wasn't really talking about just Sara's ill-timed interplanetary jaunt. He was thinking about all those other times he'd almost lost her, to the kett, to the Archon, and to think that after they'd survived all that, he could have lost her because he couldn't stop running at the mouth about just how much he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. 

He knew Sara had never been emotionally demonstrative; empathetic, yes, likely to get caught up in the heat of the moment, most definitely. Yet the depth of her feelings was something she'd always kept close and tight to her chest. It wasn't that Sara didn’t love him, Liam realised, just that she showed it in _different ways_. God knew he knew enough about the beginnings of relationships to remember how easy it was to get caught up in lust and discovering a new partner without taking the time to think about one's own self. One's own needs. Probably something Sara had already _done_  but Liam hadn't even stopped to think about. But there was time. They had time. 

Sara buried her face into his chest, arms wrapping around him, holding him tight against her body. "I'll always come back for you, Liam Kosta," she assured him with a little laugh, a laugh that makes him feel a bit stupid for ever considering the opposite. "I just. Freaked out, okay? You were so certain about everything and I _wasn't_. But I'm feeling much better now." Her fingers splayed at his hips, running over the material they found there. "And I love you," she added, looking up at him through her eyelashes. 

"I love you," he responded automatically, sniffling slightly to get all the last bits of congestion and whatnot out of his eyes and nose. "Are you going to tell me what you were doing down in Havarl?" 

"I will," she promised, cupping his face with one hand, fingers wondering ponderously over his chin. Liam realised he'd forgotten to shave. "But let's go to bed first?" 

Liam yawned. Sleep? Sleep sounded good.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next: What Sara was doing down on Havarl.
> 
> POV will alternate between Sara and Liam, just to be clear! 
> 
> Comments are loved. <3


	3. All Roads

**3\. All Roads**

Maybe the antsy feeling she’d been getting underneath her skin had just been restlessness from staying in one spot for too long. Sara smashed the head of the nearest challryion inside-out with a well-placed biotically enhanced fist, grimacing as the blood splattered up onto helmet’s visor.

“Was that really necessary?” Cora asked, her tone laced with barely-disguised amusement. As a fellow vanguard, she knew all about getting up and personal with one’s enemies. Not that these creatures were even _enemies._ They were just the wildlife. Exceptionally hungry wildlife, as it were.

Sara placed her hands on her knees, leaning over as she fought to regain her breath. “Where the _hell_  do they keep coming from?”  

Jaal caught up to them, having preferred to stay further back from the fray than the two biotics who couldn’t help but leap at the first sight of trouble. He reloaded his rifle with careful precision. You couldn’t move more than two hundred metres in this place without being beset upon. “It is their natural ability to camouflage,” he said in that low, rumbly way of his.

“I _know_ , Jaal,” Sara said, more snappishly than she intended. Immediately feeling bad for her response, she rolled her shoulders and added, “Sorry. I should have made it clearer that it wasn’t a real question.”

For all the angara wore their hearts on their sleeves, Sara still found them difficult to read sometimes. Her own propensity to be guarded with her feelings found her searching for an agenda, a _motive_  that wasn’t there. Not that the issue was isolated to just angara, of course. She’d been known to have the same problems with humans. Some humans more than others.

_Liam_. Just thinking about him made her heart clench in ways she hadn’t expected. Somedays she suspected he deserved more than she was willing, or indeed, _capable,_  of delivering. He did his best to assure her that he loved her for _her_ , who she was beneath all the titles that had been unwillingly bequeathed upon her, but nonetheless. The truth of the matter was that had she not been the Pathfinder, they probably wouldn’t be together right now. Would they? In a different world, where Dad hadn’t died, or proper authority had passed over to Cora as per protocol…

… It hurt to think about, which probably explained why she couldn’t _stop._

She realised too late that she was boring a hole in the side of the other woman’s skull with the intensity of her glare, and also that Cora had _noticed_. 

“Something on your mind, Sara?”                                        

God. She hadn’t dragged her teammates, her _friends_ , down to Havarl to talk about her relationship issues. The worst part was that they’d probably try and _help_. 

She shook her head. “Sorry, I just zoned out there for a moment. Let’s get back to it.” They’d gotten a lot done on this trip, despite how impromptu it had been. Aiding research into the planet’s biodiversity, for which it was one of the most fascinating places in the galaxy, had been one of the more successful moments. Exploring the Remnant vault again, on the other hand, had wielded less intel that Sara would’ve liked. Havarl was widely accepted as the birthplace of the angaran people, and now that they knew just _how_  the angara had been birthed, Sara had itched to return to Havarl again, to see if there were clues that they might have missed. There had been none that she could see. Sara’s steadfast devotion to unravelling the mysteries of her new galaxy amused Jaal, she knew. Sure, they both liked understanding how things worked, they had that in common. But Jaal was, by all admissions, not a scientist, and their methodologies were different. 

Not that Sara could call herself much of a scientist, either. More of a hobbyist, really. Found the interesting stuff to turn over to the _real_  experts, and hoped that it could make a difference. She found herself wishing, for the first time in a while, really, that her mother was here. _Mom would have a field day with this_. She swallowed the thought down, because it didn’t bear thinking about. She'd tried to leave the pain of that particular loss back in the Milky Way. 

For the better or the worse, she had some form of scientific assistance with her, in the form of the AI that was intimately linked to all of her physiological systems. SAM had been quieter, lately, and she worried that it was because she wasn’t engaging him enough. Not interacting with him in the same way her dad had, or hoped that she would. Sure, it didn’t mean that he wasn’t  _learning_ through her own experiences, but how much could one truly learn when they didn’t have someone to properly debrief with? 

She just wished the implications of SAM’s existence didn’t make her skin crawl on her worst days. 

“Pathfinder,” SAM said, almost as if on cue, “we are nearing the nav point marked on your map.” 

They were standing at the edge of the chasm that split the main Havarl settlement in two, separating the old from the new. It was a sharp, sheer, drop, but hey. That’s what the jump-jets were for. She slowed to a stroll, Cora and Jaal pulling up beside her. The older woman was still looking at her inquisitively, like she was on the brink of saying something but was continuously thinking better of it. Jaal, however, did not hold his verbal punches. “Something happened between you and Liam,” he observed, and in the face of such frank forthrightness, Sara felt her defences slip.

She barked a short, sharp laugh, dropping her shoulders in attempt to ease the tension that had gathered there. In turned out that punching things couldn’t alleviate _all_ of one’s problems. “Fuck,” she swore. “That obvious, huh?” 

“That obvious,” Cora confirmed with a small smile, looking relieved to be able to mention it now that Jaal had broken their unagreed upon silence on the matter. 

“I could not help but hear what your brother said to you before we departed Port Meridian,” Jaal observed. Sara took a moment to think back to what part of her conversation with Scott would’ve been overheard by her teammates. 

When she remembered, it took all that remained of her previously carefully-crafted composure to not burst into hysterical laughter. 

_Don’t break his heart, all right?_  
_  
_ She paused on the precipice of the chasm, throwing a careful look over her shoulder at Jaal, and then swivelling to face Cora. Cora had also been there. Cora would’ve heard too. She sighed, deep and heavy. “It’s not like we’re going to break up or anything,” she started, mostly with the intention of trying to get them to drop the topic now that she’d given it her acknowledgement.

“Pathfinder,” SAM piped up, blessedly over their private channel this time, “if I may, I noticed a marked decrease in your stress levels when you admitted your concerns. Perhaps talking about the issue with your companions would contribute positively to your over all mental wellbeing.”  

_Not you too, SAM._ She couldn’t disguise the grimace on her face, which in turn caused Jaal to look at her with what she would call an expression of unabashed curiosity. Damn it. She felt heat crawl up her neck as she considered her options. Launching herself into the chasm to just get _on_ with her task was beginning to feel like a particularly viable choice.  “Things are pretty great between us, honestly!” she reaffirmed, trying to ignore the way her voice pitched up at the end of the declaration. “It’s just…a lot going on, you know! Especially now that there’s less going on.” 

It was about as much self-disclosure as she could handle at the moment. For all the sense it made. She took a deep breath, then stepped off the edge of the cliff to free-fall into the valley below.

She heard Cora sigh somewhere behind her ( _right_  behind her, because Cora always had her six, and she appreciated that), and Jaal’s distant, exasperated call of ‘ _really’?_  
_  
_ Sara had always been a bit of an adrenaline junkie. There was just something she loved about jumping off something tall. The weightlessness made her worries peel away. However, in the interests of not having her teammates have to subsequently peel her off the rocks, she activated her jump-jets at the last possible moment, and the trio made their landing not too far from where the turians had made their encampment. 

“It wasn’t too far from here,” Sara muttered, brow furrowed as she shoved through the underbrush towards the navpoint marker. It glistened in the distance: the last missing link for SAM’s encrypted memory array. Cora got that look in her eyes again, the one where she looked like she was bursting with barely-restrained commentary. This time, she remained thankfully silent. 

She scooped it up in her hands, and let SAM do…whatever it was with he did with the things. AI research? _Definitely_ not her strong suit. “The final memory is unlocked,” SAM told her, and she fought against the renewed tendril of anxiety that coiled in her chest at the words.  There was a reason she’d been putting this off for so long. The last memory of her dad’s she’d witnessed had been… kind of sweet, actually, but she was still terrified that the other shoe was still waiting to drop.

What had Dad _done_? 

Her stomach was still rolling as she stretched her hands behind her and fixed a too-wide smile on her face. “Well, that’s a wrap,” she announced, voice filled with fake enthusiasm. “I’m ready to head back to the Tempest when you guys are. Jaal? Is there anything else you wanted to do while we were here?” 

They’d already visited his (large, overwhelming) family when they’d first arrived. Not that Sara minded spending time with them, nor didn’t she appreciate what he was trying to do for her (and by extension, Cora, who Jaal had been horrified to learn was an only child), but… there was just _a lot_  of them. In times like this, it made her more sad than happy. 

Jaal shook his head slowly, turning his gaze thoughtfully onto Sara. “You will be wanting to return to Meridian soon, I assume.” 

Cora, taking her cue from Jaal again, added, “I know you’re worried, but…” She laid an awkward hand on Sara’s shoulder. The two of them had never been good at physical affection. “Your father would be proud of you.”

A sad lurch in her gut reminded her that out of everyone she knew, perhaps barring Scott, Cora probably _would_ be the leading authority on such a matter. 

Jaal coughed. “Clearly, I’m missing something. But I agree. You have achieved many remarkable things, Sara. I never had the chance to meet your father. If he were _not_  proud of all you have done, then that is his misjudgement. Not yours.” He placed his hand on the shoulder opposite Cora’s, and they stood there for several long moments. 

It was, in a sense, validating. It was also extremely embarrassing, and Sara felt her face heat up again as she wrested herself out of her squadmates’ grip. “All right, all right, let’s get a move on before you make me cry.” 

Jaal was the first to step away, where Cora lingered slightly longer. There was a moment where Sara was terrified that the other woman might actually try to hug her, and she wasn’t sure she could handle that right now, but Cora seemed to reconsider, falling back to keep pace with Jaal. 

_Thank God._  She let out a deep breath. Finally, some space.

“Pathfinder,” SAM spoke over their private channel, as though determined to remind her she was never truly alone, “I have noticed that your stress has returned to almost baseline levels.”

“SAM,” she answered, taking due care to not actually speak aloud, “I don’t know if this is a comment on how I’m always slightly stressed, or if you’re pushing the point about how I need to talk to people more.”

If the AI could grin, Sara was sure SAM would be sporting one right about now. “Can it not be both?” 

 ***  

They made it two-thirds of the way back to the Tempest before running into another pack of goddamn challryions. “For fuck’s sake,” Sara grunted as they made easy work of the group that had ambushed them. “Don’t they ever learn?” 

“They’re animals,” Cora said with a shrug. 

“Perhaps once the accelerated mutation rate of the native species has returned to normal levels, these creatures will show decreased levels of aggression,” Jaal mused.

“Does us no good now,” Sara huffed. “I just want to be able to move without being accosted by the damn things.”

“Pathfinder,” Jaal started. Something in his voice told her that he didn’t want to talk about the challryions. 

She was going to regret this, but she responded in kind. “Yes?” 

“I never truly thanked you for what you’ve done for my people,” he said, and Sara turned to look at him, not bothering to hide the skepticism on her face. Sure, she’d helped the angara, but it had been a mutually beneficial arrangement. 

Her answer was less decisive than she’d like. “You already have?” 

“I meant with your choice regarding Moshae Sjefa. Naming her as the Nexus Ambassador is not an act that will go unnoticed.” 

Sara shrugged. “It was just seemed right. After all, it’s not our galaxy, is it? And I wanted to… I don’t know. Reach out. Build bridges.” It was only after she said it that she realised those were Liam’s words. Not hers. He was the one with a vision for what their Andromeda journey should have been. The one, to use Jien Garson’s immortal words, who knew what masterpiece he wanted to paint. 

Sara? Sara was here because she’d had nowhere else to go. She could hardly abandon Scott, and if she got to have a little adventure along the way? Then so be it. There’d been nothing left for her in the Milky Way. Not with her family here. Not with her once-promising career in the Alliance in tatters. 

She felt a sudden rush of love and affection towards Liam, which was only tempered somewhat by the confrontation she was sure would be awaiting for her once she returned to Meridian. God, she’d been such an _idiot_ , and she really needed to talk to Liam. 

Sara hadn’t realised she’d said that last bit aloud until Cora chuckled in agreement. “Yeah, you’re probably right.” 

Jaal nodded. “That is why I thought you would be eager to return.” 

_“_ Right. Back to Meridian it is then,” Sara decided, just in time for them to be able to make out the shape of the Tempest in the distance. “And…” she stalled, looking at Cora and then Jaal. She’d never been good at this stuff. Dreaded it, really. But this time, when she smiled, it was genuine. “Thank you. For everything.”

She’d been right. Her friends had tried to help, and it had honestly been incredibly been embarrassing. But they’d _succeeded_  and her heart felt lighter for it, even if she couldn’t pinpoint why.

_Just talk to Liam._  
_  
_ Some things, Sara felt, were easier said than done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for your ongoing love and support! <3


	4. Close To

**4\. Close To**

In the weeks that had passed since their fight, things had returned more-or-less to normal for Liam and Sara. Too normal, almost, if you asked Liam: the events that had shaped the first six months or so of their relationship had, after all, been anything but ordinary. Even though he was struggling with the change in pace, he knew that Sara had it worse. While she seemed less restless lately, more inclined towards the amused smiles and quick wit of the Sara he had first fallen in love with, her easy joviality was confined solely to her waking hours. Sara had never been a quiet sleeper, but she whimpered more in the middle of the night these days. Tossed and turned. Stole the blankets.

It was one such night that Liam awoke with a jolt, feeling the cool air of their room on his bare chest, and Sara curled at the edge of the mattress, twisted in the covers. She was talking to herself, her words quieter than a murmur. Liam wished he could make them out; wondered if it would help him decipher what haunted her dreams. When she started thrashing her legs, almost propelling herself off the edge of the bed, Liam instinctively reached out with one arm to shake her. "Sara, Sara," he whispered, "wake up." 

She rolled away and he had no other choice to pull her back towards him, or she'd be in for a rather nastier awakening than he'd anticipated. The sharpness of the motion was enough to achieve his aim, although not in the way he would've liked. Her eyes blinked uneasily for a few moments as she shook off the last vestiges of sleep. "Liam?" she mumbled, turning back over to look at him. "Why'd you push me?"

“Didn’t,” he responded easily, one arm curling protectively around her. “You were talking in your sleep again.” His other hand reached up towards her face to brush her hair back from where it had fallen in front of her. “Another nightmare?” 

She breathed in deeply, then exhaled with a shuddery breath. “Yeah. You can say that.”

“Want to talk about it?” She usually didn’t, but Liam liked to ask. He watched as her eyes went curiously blank as she steeled herself, saw her hesitation. He was ready for her to shake her head and insist they go back to sleep when she spoke instead.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you,” she admitted, averting her gaze as though embarrassed by the disclosure. “And it scares me.” Her hand settled on the side of his stomach, warm against his cool skin. 

“You have me,” he promised, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “And I’m not going anywhere.” 

She laughed at that, an amused little chuckle that lifted Liam’s spirits. He really just wanted Sara to be happy, and he’d contribute to that happiness in whatever way he could. “I appreciate it,” she started, before Liam interrupted. 

“I sense a ‘but’."

“Well, if you’d let me _finish_ ,” she admonished with a light slap against Liam’s arm. “It’s just you never know what’s going to happen, right?” Her smile turned to a grimace before she continued, the vacant look creeping back into her eyes. “I doubt Dad thought he would die just after we arrived in Andromeda.” 

The way her voice trembled at the end of her sentence broke something in Liam’s heart. Instinctively, he drew her in closer, holding her tight against his chest. She nuzzled into his grip, so it wasn’t like she couldn’t use the comfort. “None of us are dying any time soon, got it?” He hated how much it sounded like a platitude when he meant every word he said. Sure, he didn’t have much of a plan, but he’d protect her with everything he had. His life, if he had to. 

… _Oh._  
__  
Realisation and understanding hit him like a bolt of lightning. _Kosta, you’re an idiot._  
__  
Sara smiled wanly. “I wish I had your faith, sometimes.”

He gave her a squeeze, then whispered against her ear, “Just as well I’ve got enough for the both of us. But I mean it, Sara. Whatever I have to do to keep _us_ safe, I’m ready for it.” 

She must have heard his emphasis on the ‘us’, for the tension drained from her shoulders. He hadn’t even realised just how tightly she’d been holding herself, and she’d been in his arms this entire time. “Our job here is dangerous,” she said with a start. “And while things seem calm now…” she shrugged with one shoulder, the other still pressed firmly against the mattress. “I can’t help but think this is the proverbial eye of the storm.” 

“If it is,” Liam answered, with all the conviction he felt down to the very roots of his being, “I’ll be here to weather it with you.” 

“Together,” she whispered, almost reverently, before dropping her gaze again. “I’ve just been… thinking about Dad a lot lately. Trying not to, which probably explains this. The nightmares.” 

He’d suspected as much, but it helped to have the confirmation. He pressed another kiss to her face, this time against the tip of her nose. “You still blame yourself.” Not a question. 

“I just wonder, sometimes, how differently things would have gone if he’d been here. If he hadn’t had to protect me.”

Liam frowned. “Most parents would die to save their children,” he said, and it was only when Sara extricated herself from his grip to roll onto her back and throw her head against her pillow did he realise, too late, that Alec Ryder hadn’t exactly been _most_  parents. Still. He’d given his life for his daughter, and that had to count for something, right? 

“I know,” she sighed as she looked up at the ceiling. “But Dad was just so accomplished, you know? As an explorer, as a pioneer, as a _person_. He was an N7, for God’s sake.”

Liam took a chance and reached out for her hand again, gave it a squeeze. “But he wasn’t the one who settled the outposts, connected communities, and brought everyone together to save the cluster.” 

“Wow,” Sara said with a surprised laugh. “Do you want to write my speeches from now on? They’ve never been my strong suit.” It wasn’t a serious suggestion, and Liam knew it. She turned her head to face him. “Do you think he would have done things differently?” 

“I can’t say for certain,” Liam started as he realised just how little he knew about Alec Ryder, the man _behind_  the legend. “Maybe he would’ve. But who knows? He would’ve gotten different results. Maybe they could be better.” He inclined his head towards hers. “But they could also be a hell of a lot worse.” He shimmied slightly closer, so their shoulders were barely touching. “I’m happy with how things ended up.” He hesitated for the briefest of moments before continuing. “Aren’t you?” 

“Yeah. I am.” She smiled then, a proper one, the kind that lit up her whole face. “I’ve just been putting things off, but SAM keeps telling me that talking to people helps, so.” She wrinkled her nose. “Thank you.” 

“Helped, have I?” Liam asked brightly, and Sara gave him a playful shove.

“Dumbass. You always do.” She sighed again, shifting to rest one of her legs between Liam’s.  “I just need to go watch that last memory of my dad’s already. I keep bracing myself for some grand revelation, but I’m sure whatever I’m coming up with in my head can’t be worse than the truth.” 

They started to entangle themselves in each other again; Liam warmed by the heat radiating off Sara’s body. She was like his own personal heater. “What makes you so sure there’s some terrible secret waiting for you?” 

“The way it started,” she answered solemnly. “Did I tell you? Some of the first audio logs I listened to, after… Well, he basically said, 'You’re going to find out some things, and I hope you’ll understand.’ Makes it sound like he did something horrible, didn’t it? Something which could go beyond my capacity to forgive him. But,” she said, nuzzling in closer to Liam so her head was almost pressed against his neck, “I can’t think of what it could be. I know he’s not perfect. His record’s not spotless. We had our disagreements. But he’s my _father_. And…I’m babbling again, aren’t I?” 

Liam _had_  noticed her fingers drumming restlessly against his skin, but hadn’t said anything. It was encouraging to see her open up like this, to trust him, _really_  trust him, with her deepest and most intimate fears. “I like it when you babble,” he assured her, “and I want you to know you can tell me anything.”

“I know,” she told him, “and I’m trying my best. I don’t know what’s worse. That I’m overthinking things. Or that I’m _not_. But I do need to stop putting it off. Not knowing clearly isn’t helping matters.”

Liam chuckled, running a hand down Sara’s side. “You were one of those kids at school who was always too nervous to check their marks, weren’t you?” 

“Pathetic, isn’t it?” Sara said with a smile, all the confirmation that Liam needed. 

“Nah,” he assured her, “just different.” 

“Bet you were the type who just barrelled ahead and opened them up,” she shot back in response.

He held up a hand. Guilty as charged. “Always been a bit impulsive,” he answered, earning him an arched eyebrow from Sara. Yeah, okay, so maybe _a bit_ was an understatement. 

“What did I ever do to deserve you?” Sara asked, her fingers trailing up his side, mimicking his motions.

He took a moment to contemplate whether it was a serious question before catching her hand in one of his own. “Hey, that tickles!"

She huffed, half annoyed, half amused. “Anyway, I’ve been thinking,” she said, intertwining her fingers with his. 

He looked down at where their hands were joined. “About?”  

“Children,” she answered promptly. It was a strange and curious thing, the way that one word made his insides swoop with joy, the elation that resulted from realising she might actually be considering the same future he was. “Not right now,” she continued, at the butterflies in his stomach settled slightly, hovering as they waited for whatever she said next. “But someday. With you,” she added, as though the clarification was necessary. The room was dimly lit, but Liam swore he could see colour rise high on Sara’s cheeks. 

“I’d like that,” Liam answered roughly, doing his best to ignore the way the words made blood rush to his extremities and instead raising Sara’s hand to his lips to press a kiss against it. “When the time is right. When you're ready. What brought this on?”

“You remember when we found out where the angara came from? And you sent me that email: _the Jardaan made a people_. And then there was Dad, with SAM. It’s just been something I’ve been thinking about. It’s not the same scale, sure. But isn’t that what having kids is like? _Making people_.”

He dragged his mouth downwards, brushing along the inside of Sara’s wrist. He could feel her pulse flutter there, beautiful and precious. “You and SAM: getting along better these days,” he noted. 

“Yeah,” she breathed, pressing her thighs more heavily against his; it took more and more of his will-power to not get distracted. “I mean. He didn’t ask to be created any more than I did. I can’t begrudge him for wanting to _live_. We’re still two separate consciousnesses, but intertwined. And look. It’s still weird — sorry, SAM— but what about my life hasn’t been? I’m doing my best to be okay with it. I can keep looking back at all the things I wished could have gone differently, like Mom dying or becoming the Pathfinder, but I want to be able to look forward. For us. For our future.” 

“For our future,” Liam echoed, feeling his chest bloom with adoration for this beautiful, amazing woman who he was so lucky to have in his life. It was hard, sometimes, to keep the entire depth and breadth of his feelings for Sara to himself when all he really wanted to do was scream all of them from the rooftops, to write her a letter itemising every little thing he loved about her. She’d hate it, which was the only reason stopping him from doing so. 

“You’re the one who made me believe it’s possible,” Sara admitted, her expression turning thoughtful. “I think the thing that gets me most about having kids is that anything can happen. Sure, you can try moulding them in your own image, you can guide them however you want, but at the end of the day, they’re individuals, with their own consciousness and they’re going to go into the world and do things you have no control over. Perhaps, even, things beyond your wildest imagination. It’s just that I think you’ve got to be ready for that, when you bring life into the world. And… I’m doing it again, aren’t I? Babbling.”

“I love it,” he answered with all the sincerity he could muster, and Sara’s eyes dropped to his lips. Before he could even lean in, she closed the distance between them and captured his mouth with her own, her spare hand cupping his face, thumb running over his cheekbone. 

When they broke apart, they moved as little as possible. Noses touching, Liam could still feel Sara’s breath against his skin. “I love you,” she told him, eyes bright and earnest. 

“I love you, too,” he answered, nuzzling his nose against hers. “And we are going to be great parents. One day.” 

“Still enough faith for the both of us,” Sara laughed. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next: Sara finally checks out that final memory, nbd. 
> 
> Please let me know what you think! Comments of any kind make my heart swell. <3


	5. Homesick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning for panic attacks in this chapter.

**5\. Homesick**

Sara woke up with a start, hot and sweaty, gut churning. Considering what she’d spoken about with Liam when he’d woken her, it should have come to no surprise that her father had peppered the rest of her dreams. Even the ones that he quite rightly had nothing to do with. 

She tried, tried too hard, sometimes, to not think about her Milky Way life and what she’d left behind. She’d _wanted_ to come to Andromeda, had wanted to follow in her father’s footsteps in more ways than one. She’d always dreamed of doing something spectacular with her life, and what could be more ground-breaking than travelling to a whole new galaxy? It was the pinnacle of exploration.  It was a exquisite example of being careful of what one wished for.

And then, there was her family; she could hardly have stayed behind and have abandoned her brother and dad. Especially not with Mom gone. They had to stick together.  _And look how that turned out_. At least Scott was well on his way to making a full recovery; just having him around made the future seem that little bit more bearable. She hated the idea of being alone again, like she had in those beginning days, ill-prepared to fit into her father’s too-large shoes.

Of course, she had Liam, too, now. Relied on him more than she should. Hadn’t thought she’d be dating, so seriously, so soon, especially given how recently her last relationship had ended. But she hadn’t thought about her in months. At least not until her fevered dreams of the night prior.

Had she really dreamt about bringing her ex-girlfriend home to meet her parents? Ugh. It seemed like such a pointless fantasy. Her parents were dead and so was Ruby, in a manner of speaking. Just like Liam’s parents would be. A twist of nervousness settled in her gut and she found herself wondering, uselessly, if they would like her. 

She probably could stand to ask him more questions about his own parents. He seemed to be the type who’d love to talk about them, given the chance — a normal, loving family — but Sara had not offered the opportunity. Liam, quite sensibly, had not pushed the topic. It probably helped that he had, in fact, met her father well before he’d ever met _her_. 

Still, though. Sometimes it unsettled her how at peace Liam seemed to be with his decision to come to Andromeda, and maybe it was just Sara’s own unique circumstances, with her mother’s death so fresh on her mind, but she couldn’t imagine making the decision to never see her parents again. Maybe because she’d never had the choice. Maybe because she never would.

The pang of grief hit her as it usually did, sharp and unexpected, just beneath her ribcage. She rolled to her side, half-hoping that Liam would be there, but knowing given their usual day-to-day routine that he probably wouldn’t. 

She was right. Still, the realisation caused a smile to curve on her lips. How nice it was, to think that the dust had settled enough for things to become _routine_. And here she’d thought, before Andromeda, a lifetime ago, that she’d never want to settle down. It still didn’t come naturally to her, but god damn if her relationship with Liam didn’t make her want to believe such things were possible. 

She loved him; just thinking about him made her feel like someone had set a warm blanket down upon her, tucked her in. _She loved him_.  

It was too much warmth, really, for what she was about to do. Sara knew herself. She would drag out the mundane minutiae of her morning routine: breakfast; laps; shower; _teeth_ for as long as possible before doing what she should have done as soon as she’d recovered it: watch her father’s final fucking memory once and for all. The thought sent chills down her spine, but she ignored them. She had to. The only alternative was to keep putting it off, to never look at it, and never _know_. And that was a decision in itself, but was it one she could live with?

(She knew, in her heart of hearts, that the answer was _no_.)  

***

“You seem distracted today,” Cora had told her at the end of their run. Sara had spent so much of it preparing herself, _bracing_  herself, that her walls were already up. When they were, lying came as easy as breathing, the only time it did. It was always easier to be dishonest when she was trying, desperately, fervently, to convince herself it was the truth. 

“I’m fine,” she’d said with a hapless shrug. “Just more meetings, you know how it is. Being Pathfinder is a thankless job.” Especially now, that she spent more time with the human colonists than she did with her old ragtag band of assorted crewmates. Oh, the people here said the words, gratitude rolling off their tongues in waves, but it was just another falsehood at the end of the day. Wasn’t it? 

Wasn’t it?

She’d never wanted this responsibility. And when Cora had dug her heels in, reminded her of what an excellent job she was doing, she’d narrowed her eyes at the other woman, _her friend_ , and asked, “A better job than you’d have done in my place?” 

And Cora had taken a step back in the face of Sara’s sudden aggression; neither of them wanted to revisit this old beat, rehash the same steps they’d been tracing since the passing of her father. “You already know my answer.” 

Sara hadn’t wanted to fight, so she hadn’t responded beyond pointing out that Hayjer and Vederia were both doing excellent work in their new and unexpected roles as Pathfinders for their respective species.  _They did it. I did it. You could have done it, too._

She hadn’t been sure whose point she’d been proving, and she hated it. Hated how some days, she’d wake up and wish that this entire mess had been Cora’s to deal with instead. 

“See you later,” Sara had told her as they’d parted in the atrium, voice bright and cheery once more. Too cheery.

“Bye for now,” Cora had answered, casualness belied by the look in her eyes that spoke at volumes louder than her actual words. _We’ll talk later._  
_  
_ As she made her way to SAM node, she tried to stop her hands from shaking. 

*** 

There it was, the terrible truth, laid out bare at last. Rib _cage_ had never felt such an apt term before; Sara honestly felt as though her lungs would explode if they could; they hurt, her chest hurt, everything _hurt._ She wanted to yell and to cry. She did neither. Her hands were numb, limp and useless by her sides, but she could sense them clawing at her heart, digging for words that could never be enough.

When she dragged them out, up and through her raw and burning throat, her voice sounded as though it belonged to someone else. Like she was watching a movie about someone else’s life. “Mom’s here? _Alive?_ ”

Maybe she should have been more concerned about the whispered hints of the end of life as they knew it. Those questions were there, somewhere, too, in the back of her mind. A smaller, younger voice: _is the Milky Way okay?_ Or was the answer to that question the extinction of billions upon billions of lives, a number so large it could not be quantified? A number beyond the limits of her understanding?

SAM offered an explanation she barely heard, all _stasis_ and _blocked memorie_ s; the corners of Sara’s vision faded in and out as she forced herself to remember to breathe. Maybe billions of deaths were too surreal to consider, but one death — there was one death she could recall in almost flawless detail.

_Mom’s._

She remembered being there with Dad and Scott during Mom's final hours. Remembered the ramping apprehension as they barrelled towards the inevitable; it had been a long time coming, but it had felt sudden all the same. As she’d steered Scott from the room to give their parents some privacy, part of her still couldn’t believe that it would be the last time she’d ever see her alive. They’d come back tomorrow, just like they had yesterday, and the day before.

But then Dad had entered the hallway, head hung low, and Sara had known in that moment, that it was done. She’d finally cried, the tears that had been threatening to spill making themselves known at last. And Scott…well, Scott had always been a messy crier.

Dad hadn’t cried though. Dad never cried.

But she still remembered the way his hands had shaken at the funeral.

Thinking about it made her ill, a low simmering anger starting to burn bright in her belly. “This never should’ve been kept a secret,” she said, her voice marginally more furious than it had been earlier but still oh-so-far away.

SAM tried to placate her, but in that moment, she didn’t give a shit about false hopes.  Would prefer them, infinitely, to false grief. And that was when SAM slipped the knife into her chest, his words, calm and even, still as sharp as any blade. _And that’s why you were made Pathfinder — to see the process through_.

She’d suspected it, had been anticipating it, but God, it hurt to have confirmation that she’d never been anything special. Close as her father and Cora might have been, he wouldn't have trusted Cora with this. Sara blinked, once, twice, wondering if she’d ever feel whole again, or if she’d just be stuck thinking her body was going to split into two for the rest of her life.

_Mom’s still alive._ The words buzzed around her brain. For all her hesitation, all her wondering, she could have never anticipated this. At least Dad didn’t disappoint. Not in this regard. She’d told Liam just last night that it sounded like her father had done something horrible.

Had he?

He hadn't and he _had_ and _Mom’s still alive.  
_  
_I hope you’ll understand_ he’d said, but she didn’t.

_He should have told us._ The thought rattled through her, shook the very core of her being, but she couldn’t bring herself to voice it. It wasn’t like he was around to defend himself. Maybe he’d thought he was saving Mom by bringing her here, but at what cost?

Her legs felt like jelly.

_Alec could not bear the thought of Ellen recovering only to discover you had died._

And so he had died instead; she had witnessed his dying actions with his eyes, listened to his last words with his ears: _there’s still hope for your mother._

But what of her? What of Sara Ryder? Had her father truly understood what he had done, when he had transferred SAM’s full suite of abilities to her, named her Pathfinder in his stead? Or were his thoughts only of Mom, the mother Sara had been led to believe was dead? Did he think his daughter up to the challenge, or did he only require her loyalty?

Any pride she’d once had in her achievements turned to ashes in her mouth. Her father must have loved her mother a lot, to go to this extent to save her life. She hadn’t doubted that, but she found herself thinking about whether she’d go to the same extremes for Liam. She didn’t think so. But she didn’t know. Thinking of Liam reminded her of his words from last night (had it only been last night? It felt like longer, days stretching into years into centuries).

_Most parents would die for their children._

Alec Ryder hadn’t been most parents.

_Most parents would die for their children._

Had he died for his daughter, or for his wife?

It was just another question that Sara didn’t want the answer to. Which meant that one day, she probably, unfortunately, _would_. It had always been like that with Dad. Even in his death, he was maddeningly consistent.

The walls of the room seemed to close in around her. She needed to find Mom. Now. Told SAM as such, as though he wouldn’t be coming with her.

*** 

Her message to Scott was short and devoid of emotion. The letters on her omni-tool swam before her eyes. She’d triple-checked them, made sure they delivered some sort of coherent message. But she couldn’t read them. Reading them made it real.

Fortunately, Scott knew when to ask questions, and he knew Sara well enough to know that in this case? Time was of the essence. That wasn't to say that the questions wouldn’t come later. But that was something she would worry about then: later.

Now she just had to take the final step towards learning the truth, and hopefully the first step towards accepting it. Scott was already waiting by the cryo pod when she arrived; her walk through the Hyperion had been slow and awful, like she’d dragged her feet through mud while carrying a thirty kilogram weight upon her back. She wore everyone’s eyes were on her the whole time, but then again, when weren’t they?

At least she wasn't crying. She was the human Pathfinder, and what example would she be to those who looked up to her for guidance if she started crying in public? Scott knew her moods too well to not pick up her on obvious upset. He also knew her well enough to know when _not_ to stick his nose in, even though it was one of his favourite pastimes. Despite all his claims to the contrary. His eyes flickered to hers, brow creased in concern, but he didn’t say anything about it. Didn’t reach out to her. Just business. “Who’s Elizabeth Reilly?”

And maybe she should have milked it a bit more, stirred him up with some grandiose statement. But she didn’t have the energy. She was hollowed out and exhausted and she wanted nothing more than to go back to bed and wake up three hours ago and forget that this had ever happened.

But she couldn’t. “It’s Mom,” she whispered. She hated how stupid the words sounded, the way Scott looked at her as though he was torn between asking her to repeat herself and asking her if she was joking.

The truth spilled out of her in spits and spurts, unable to be contained but reluctant all the same.  She watched Scott vacillate between pain and joy, reconcile the information the same way she’d been struggling to do. “I want to shake his hand. And then punch him!”

And she laughed, because she understood that feeling entirely. Looked up at the pod that contained _Mom_. Did she know that she would be coming here? Sara couldn’t help but think that she didn’t. No-one was ever truly ready to die, or so Sara felt, but Mom had made her peace with her fate all the same. She’d told them to take care of each other. Surely she wouldn’t have said that if there was any possibility of her coming _back_.

Dad had brought her to Andromeda to seek a cure for her illness. And now Dad was dead. It didn’t seem fair, somehow. But nothing ever was. SAM was endlessly optimistic, but how could he not be? He was created by Dad. He’d been created by Dad to _save Mom_. When he started to tell them that _her_ accomplishments could one day save Mom’s life, Sara struggled to believe him.  The fact of the matter was she couldn’t have done half of what she’d done in Heleus without SAM.

“Waking her up will be fun,” Sara said softly, retreating into sarcasm at the sheer ludicrousness of it all. “Surprise, Mom! You’re still alive! Dad put you on ice!” The last statement was punctuated with a scoff. One one hand she couldn’t believe Dad had done it, _really_ done it. On the other hand, Dad was, well, _Dad…_

Scott chimed in, right on cue. “Oh, and by the way — look out the window. You’re in Andromeda!”

Sara had missed Scott. She really had. Even if he did drive her absolutely up the wall at times. She bumped him carefully with her shoulder, a casual touch. They smiled up at Mom’s cryo pod together. One day, when the time was right, maybe just maybe, they’d be able to wake her up. It still felt wrong, somehow, but knowing what they knew? They couldn’t very well leave her in there.

And then there was SAM. The AI had a vested interest in the survival of their mother as well. Sara forgot as easily as she remembered. _It is a mission I hope the three of us will one day fulfil — together._ Togethere. Sara and Scott and Sam.

She wondered when, exactly, she had started to consider SAM _family_.

It was still weird to think that SAM had been crafted for a specific _purpose_ when so much of her own life had felt like a series of awkward blunders, or making the best of a bad situation. Then again, SAM had learnt so much that had nothing to do without his original goals. And wasn't that life in a nutshell? All the things that one learnt, experienced, overcame in the pursuit of a set of aims?

They was halfway out of the cryo bay when SAM spoke to her over their private channel. “Yes, Sara, I do believe it is.”

***

Whatever small joy she had derived from her conversation with Scott withered in her veins as she found herself mostly alone again. Alone, except for SAM, wired to her consciousness as he was. “You are experiencing a heightened level of anxiety,” he told her as she approached the desk in her father’s room, all sprawled out monitors and scattered datapads.

Sara still hadn’t brought it upon herself to rearrange the space. “No shit, SAM,” she muttered in response, heart beating loud, thunderously, erratically. SAM fell silent and Sara felt guilty. _He’s just trying to help_. There were more terrible truths to be unearthed at the tips of her fingers.

She got SAM to play the first message, the second, the third. As she listened to the emergency transmissions of desperate armies, her skin turned to ice, the roar of her heart dampening. Her vision was blurring at the corners again and she found herself clutching at the edge of the desk to anchor herself.

Three points of contact. Her boots were on the floor. She was in the Pathfinder’s quarters of the ark Hyperion. The Hyperion made up most of the current settlement of Port Meridian. Port Meridian was named for the planet itself. Meridian was the fourth planet of the Saajor system. The Saajor system was located in the Heleus cluster. Her name was Sara Ryder, she was in Andromeda, and she was _alive_.

Blue sparks danced across her skin.

Cora had once compared biotics to a sneeze. At the time, Sara had thought it an apt descriptor. But now? Now, she’d characterise it as the urge to throw up. Better out than in, given a suitable target. Her hands were shaking. So were her shoulders.

_Everyone is dead._

There were two messages left, blinking at her from the terminal in the corner of her eye. Bile rose up her throat. She was flaring, losing control in a way she hadn’t done in years.

“Pathfinder,” SAM hedged, almost uncertain. SAM didn’t _do_ uncertainty. “I believe you are having a panic attack. If you would like, I could—”

The implications of SAM’s offer broke through Sara’s reduced consciousness. “No, don’t you—” 

“Understood.”

Her hands curled into fists atop the desk, angry clammy palms.

_Everyone is dead._

The Milky Way as she knew it was gone.

She sunk to her knees at the console, hands still holding on for dear life. “The rest,” she demanded, because she’d come this far. This time, SAM did not question her.

A conversation between Jien Garson and her father, his parting words to her: _I guess we always knew there was no going back._ The message ended. There was nothing more.

She crumbled, sinking to the floor at last, knees drawn to her chest, head resting down against her forearm. She didn’t know how long she sat there for before she even had the clarity to try and control her breath.

She’d been hyperventilating, of course. SAM had tried to tell her, but she hadn’t listened. She’d shut him down, and she was far too prideful to ask him for his assistance _now_. Instead, she inhaled in, counted to four, exhaled one-two-three-four. Her biotic corona shrunk somewhat as she battled to get her processes back under control.

_I guess we always knew there was no going back._

Her father’s voice rang through her head, and she felt the anxiety spike through her system again. The surge of adrenaline had her back on her feet without really thinking about it, a troubling sign if she’d stopped to consider it more deeply, but she didn’t. Couldn’t.  The weight of her own malfunctioning powers was crushing, crushing, crushing.

Everything in the room reminded her of her father. His guns. _Who he'd been._ The model ships. _Where he'd taken them._ The goddamn coffee machine. _Of what he’d done to save them._

She let go, pouring all of her grief and her rage and her fear with her biotic release, the machine slamming against the opposite wall with a satisfying crash, if only she’d been present enough to properly appreciate it. It shattered into pieces and Sara wasn’t sure how, but she found herself settling down amongst them, biotic powers now back under control and her breath steadying.

Sitting in the ruins of her father's coffee machine, Sara wept. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 
> 
> Okay, in all seriousness, this was one of the scenes I was most looking forward to when I started conceptualising this fic, and I'm really happy with how it turned out! I'd also love to hear your thoughts, too. <3 
> 
> You can also catch me on Tumblr at @commspecialist for further Mass Effect related musings!


	6. Til the Cows Come

  **6\. Til the Cows Come**

There was no note this time and Liam was tired of wearing a hole in the floor. He'd done his best to give Sara the breathing room she needed, but the fact of the matter remained: he hadn't heard from her all day, she’d completely blew off their early dinner plans, and he was utterly unable to determine her whereabouts. He wanted nothing more than to be able to trust her. And yet, trust had given way to fear.   _What if something’s happened to her?_  
  
_What if she’s cross with me?_  
_  
_ There was one way, a straightforward way, of gathering more intel on where Sara might be, but it still didn’t make him feel any less rubbish for pursuing it. Liam pulled up his omnitool and scrolled through his contacts until he reached the person he was looking for. _Bingo._

` **Liam:** Have you seen Sara lately? `

`**Scott:** You know what? I have an idea of where she might be. Meet me in the atrium? `  
  
Truth be told, Liam had expected a bit more back-and-forth. Scott tended to make a big song and dance of how he didn’t like to interfere with his sister’s business, and often commented on how people tried to curry favour with him as though it might help them get a direct line of contact with _the Pathfinder_. Not that Liam needed Sara in any official capacity. He just wanted _her_. 

The fact that Scott didn't ask for further clarification made Liam's heart sink. His legs felt like lead as he headed out towards his prearranged meeting place with Scott. Sara’s twin gave him a jaunty wave as he spotted Liam from a distance, but when he grew closer he couldn’t help but notice that Scott’s eyes were rather red and puffy. Like he’d been crying. 

Liam clapped an automatic hand to Scott’s shoulder in greeting. “You all right?” he asked, the part of him that worried it wasn’t his place to ask overwhelmed by concern for the other man. 

Scott let out a long, whittling exhale, toying with one of the straps on his trousers. “Yeah. Yeah. All things considered.” He shrugged. “I’m fine.” 

It wasn’t quite the answer Liam had been hoping for, but he did his best to push down his sense of developing dread. He dropped his hand. “Right,” he answered, with just the right amount of disbelief. He wasn’t going to push it. For now. He’d learnt his lesson when it came Ryders and emotions. “So what’s this about Sara?” 

Not quite looking at Liam as he answered, Scott said, “I know where she is. And look, I don’t want to interfere and all that, but…” He trailed off, finally making eye contact with Liam. 

Liam raised an eyebrow. “But?” 

“I think we should probably check on her.” 

“Are you going to tell me why?” Liam asked, as if his mind wasn’t running through all the possible situations in his head. Some people might call it catastrophising, but Liam just called it _preparation._ Easier to deal with things as they came up if you could consider the possible outcomes. Didn’t stop him from hoping for the best in most situations, anyway, but it was hard, even for him, to think of a _good_  reason for Sara to have disappeared again, especially in such a way that would cause Scott to be so concerned. 

Scott stalled, rocking back on his heels. “Look, if she doesn’t fill you in herself, I will. Promise.” Another deep breath. “I’d like to give her the chance to explain, but…this affects us both. And you’re a friend, Liam. Future family.” He smiled, then, although the expression was strained on his features. Scott’s eyes still looked more-or-less morose. “Well, this will be one hell of an introduction.”  Running a hand through his hair, he asked, “You ready?” 

Adrenaline flooded Liam’s veins as he gave Scott a curt nod. “Yeah. Let’s do this.”  As Scott led the way, Liam followed. 

***

Only one corridor separated them from Alec Ryder's old quarters, and as they made their way down the hall, something crashed, loud and heavy, in the distance. Liam's legs, already walking at a brisk pace, broke out into an instinctive all-out run. He barely registered Scott's yelp of surprise, all but sprinting towards the door. It was locked, because of course it still was, and Liam slammed it furiously with his wrist as though percussive maintenance with his omnitool might magically spring it open,

Then there was a sharp, sudden shove against his chest. He hadn't realised Scott had caught up to him, but it was hard to ignore _now_  that Sara's brother had him pinned against the wall with one arm. Part of him, the part of him that still made him feel like a little kid at war with the world, make a quick assessment of Scott: given the other man's condition, Liam could probably take him in a fight. The other part, the part that had been tempered with time, built bit-by-bit by all the people who had ever told him to think before he acted, realised that Sara would never forgive him if he decided to try and wipe the floor with her brother. His relationship with Sara aside, it still wouldn't be a nice thing to do. The right thing to do.

But why did he still want to do it? He glowered, bristling against the unwanted contact, but did not move. Yet. "If Sara's in there--" he started, desperately fighting to keep the anger out of his voice. He wasn't entirely sure he succeeded.

Scott just looked at him, his gaze maddeningly calm. "She is. But you, running in there like this? It won’t fucking help."

“And what _will?”_ Liam growled, finally pushing back against the arm across his chest. “Are you going to tell me what the hell’s going on, or are you planning to keep me in the dark forever?” 

For what it was worth, Scott stood his ground, barely moving even in the face of Liam’s resistance. The corners of his lips curved downwards. At this proximity, it was easy to see the family resemblance, not only between Scott and his sister, but between Scott and their father. It was an expression Liam had seen plain and clear on Alec Ryder’s face before: one of exasperated disappointment. 

Liam had a hunch that, for some reason, Scott wouldn’t appreciate the comparison. For once, he mercifully managed to keep his mouth shut. “We received some upsetting news regarding our father earlier,” Scott started with as much diplomacy as he could muster.

It was with those words that the pieces of the puzzle began to fall into place. _The memory._ He knew Sara had been dreading it, had worried about the secrets her father had been keeping, and yet, somehow, Liam hadn’t predicted this outcome. Maybe because from what little he knew of Alec Ryder, he couldn’t imagine him having demons of this magnitude, but mostly because he couldn’t imagine his _own_  father ever keeping anything serious from him. He’d always had a very open relationship with his parents, and it was sobering, sometimes, to be reminded that other people  _didn’t_. “She was worried about it,” Liam added, anger rushing out from him like he was a punctured balloon. 

Scott mirrored his body language, dropping his shoulders and taking a step back. Liam was grateful for the breathing room. “Yeah. And I don’t think either of us were ready for the truth.” 

With those words, Liam felt the crushing weight against his chest again, but Scott hadn’t even moved. He found himself fumbling, echoing his earlier words. “You all right?” 

Scott smiled ruefully. “All things considered. Feeling better?” 

Taking a deep breath to keep himself calm, Liam answered, “Yeah. I am. Thanks.”

“Any time,” Scott answered, turning away from Liam and pulling out his omnitool. “Now, this room is _supposed_ to be sealed for anyone other than the Pathfinder, but I was holed up here for a few days, so I’ve still got access.” He waved his arm. “And we’re in.”

The door slid open with a mechanical hiss, and Liam steeled himself for whatever they might discover. The room was not dissimilar to those found in any number of prefabs across the galaxy, a cozy living space. He only barely registered the model ships, the guns on display on a far wall, before noticing the figure sat slumped against one of the low walls of the kitchenette. 

Sara. 

It was all he could do to stop himself from crying out in pain. Out of the corner of his eye, he swore he could see Scott’s face tremble. They approached her cautiously with slow, soft footsteps, even though it went against every fibre of Liam’s building. Sara’s hair had fallen out of its usual ponytail and she flicked the hair-tie against her wrist as she looked up at them. 

If Liam had suspected Scott had been crying, there was no question about it when it came to Sara. She hadn’t bothered to wipe her face, and the tear tracks were still prominent on her cheeks. “Hey, guys,” she said softly, looking between them almost as though she couldn't believe they were real. “What are you doing here?"

“We were worried about you—" Liam started as Scott simultaneously answered.

“You missed your dinner date.” 

Liam frowned. “How did you know about—?” 

“I told him,” Sara interrupted, slowly putting her hair back up into a messy bun. She bit her lip. “I just figured, if I had someone wondering where I was… I didn’t mean it like this, I swear,” she assured them with a shaky laugh, and Liam squatted down beside her on the floor, frowning as he fought to avoid the shards of _something_ at his feet. 

“I know you didn’t, love,” he said, hovering by her side with just enough space between them for her to close the distance if she so desired. She did.

Head leaning against his chest, she closed her eyes and whispered, “I didn’t think it would be like this.”

Liam pressed a kiss to her hair. “I know. I know.” 

Somewhere above them, Scott cleared his throat. Liam, who had half-forgotten about Sara’s brother, glanced up guiltily. Some of Scott’s old humour was back in his eyes, and he reached out for Sara with one hand. “Let’s get you cleaned up, okay?” 

Scrambling to his feet, Liam held onto Sara’s other arm as she nodded, and together, the two of them hoisted her upright, until she was standing somewhat steadily on her feet. “Come on. Up and at them,” he said, steering her towards the bed. Scott let go of his sister, mumbling something about gathering up the mess. 

They sat down together, side-by-side, and Liam instinctively wrapped an arm around Sara, who leaned back against him in return. “How you feeling?” he asked, because he barely knew where to begin, but had to start _somewhere_. 

“Better,” Sara admitted, inclining her head slightly at Liam’s disbelieving look. If this was _better_ , Liam could barely imagine what she had been like _before_. His heart ached for her, and he wished there was something he could do that would make things even more better. Betterer. That wasn’t a word. But still. He barely knew what had happened and _he_ felt like crying. He blinked back the tears. Sara didn’t need him falling apart right now. “I’ve cried it all out. _Acted_ it out.” She canted her head back to where Scott was gesturing angrily at one of the vacuum cleaners with one hand and grappling with the garbage disposal with the other. 

“What _was_  that?” Liam asked, brow furrowed. 

Sara smiled, surprisingly triumphant. “Dad’s coffee machine.”

Now, that wasn’t the answer he’d been expecting. “Do you want to talk about it?” He would always ask, he determined, so that she’d be able to say yes when she really needed to. Just like their conversation late last night, he almost thought she would refuse. Her eyes skittered over his shoulder, and he followed her gaze. When his gaze met Scott’s, the other man quickly busied himself with his clean-up once more, but the gesture was enough to make Scott’s words ring loudly in Liam’s ears. _If she doesn’t fill you in, I will._

He took one of her hands in his own, gently running his thumb over her skin. 

“Not really,” Sara started, eyes crinkling, “but I should. Just…” She took a deep, shuddering breath before she continued. “Remember how I said that it sounded like Dad had done something terrible? It’s… it’s _Mom_.” Before Liam’s mind could draw further dramatic conclusions, Sara thankfully continued, but not before rubbing at her eyes. “She’s alive. God, that feels weird to say.”

The gears turned in Liam’s head, but he struggled to parse what Sara had just said. “What do you mean, she’s alive?” Sara didn’t talk about her mother much, but he still knew the basics. Everyone did. Alec Ryder’s wife had passed away before the final push towards Andromeda, and the man hadn’t quite been the same since. 

“I know, it sounds ridiculous, doesn’t it? I mean, I — we — went to her funeral.” Liam spotted Scott busying himself again in his peripheral vision. “We really thought she was gone. But, nope!” Sara’s mouth thinned as she made an exaggerated motion with both hands. _Surprise!_  “Turns out dear old Dad popped her into cryo at the eleventh hour, and she’s here with us in Andromeda. Alive.” 

Scott chose that moment to wander back over, dusting off his hands as he did so, decidedly done with the pretence of not listening in. “But we can’t wake her up unless we find a cure for her disease. And even with SAM’s help? That’s going to be a toughie.” 

“Hm,” Sara said, a non-committal noise. 

“You’re thinking of doing it, aren’t you?” Scott accused. “God, Sara, it’s not your responsibility.” 

“And what’s the alternative? Just leave her in there, let fate take its course?” Sara steadied her shoulders, glaring at Scott as he settled down on her other side. 

“Well, it’s _an_  alternative,” Scott grumbled, fingers fidgeting on his lap, as though his thoughts had physical manifestations which he could grapple. 

“Not a good one,” Sara persisted. “I won’t allow it. I can’t.” 

Liam listened quietly to their back-and-forth, not sure of where to interject, or even if he should. He felt uselessly out of place, out of his depth. _This will be one hell of an introduction._ As it turned out? Scott hadn’t been kidding. Alec Ryder had faked his wife’s death to his own kids? He could scarcely believe it.

Liam didn’t know what he could do, how he could help, and it haunted him. For now, he settled for holding Sara.

He hoped it would be enough. 

“You’ve already done so much,” Scott complained. “ You saved everyone you could. It’s alright, you know, to just let this one thing happen as it should. It’s not your responsibility.” Liam frowned. The _one thing_ just happened to be the livelihood of their own mother. But he couldn’t pretend to know what he would think if he was in Scott’s shoes. And if the way Sara twisted in his arms was any indication, she didn’t exactly agree with her twin.

Sara’s chin jutted out in stubborn determination as she lifted her head to look at Scott. “But it _is._ All of it. Dad decided that, when he named me Pathfinder. He wanted me to save her. Those were his last words, remember? Everyone _else_  was just a bonus.” Although she smiled, it stretched thin, and Liam could feel her shoulders shake underneath him. He held her tighter. “It _is_ my responsibility. Every single bit of it.” 

A sudden flash of anger crept into Scott’s eyes as he snapped, “Dad never really cared about us.” 

Sara frowned, shoving at Scott with one shoulder, pulling Liam along for the movement. “Don’t say that,” she scolded. 

“Did you hear what you _said_? You were dying—"

“I don’t want to fight about this,” Sara said quietly, looking down at her hands. “He brought us here so we could be a family. A _family,_ Scott.” 

Scott snorted, dissatisfied, but let the matter drop. His hands were balled into fists atop his legs, and Liam found himself wishing he could hug him too. Would have offered, too, if he thought it would help any. Liam’s leg jittered where he sat, nervous energy building under the layer of tension that permeated the room. 

“Liam?” Sara ventured tentatively into the silence. Liam jolted, as though he’d forgotten he was in the room. 

“Yeah?” he asked, hyper-aware of Scott’s eyes boring a hole in the side of his skull.

“What do you think I should do?” 

It was the question he’d been afraid of. Truth be told, he didn’t have the resources for dealing with a situation like this. Crisis response, he mused, hadn’t exactly trained him for _these_  sort of problems. He didn’t even have the words to console her, and he hated that. _It’s fucked up_ was about all he could say in regards to the situation. Only managed to stop himself because he wasn’t sure if it would just make things worse. He tried to run the sentiment through his mental filters. He’d never experienced anything like this — never would — but he could do his best to be empathetic. 

“It’s not up to me,” he started gently, fingers running assuringly over Sara’s leg, just above her knee. 

“But if it was?” Sara persisted. 

“I’d like the closure,” Liam admitted. “But whatever you decide, just know that I’m behind you. One hundred percent.”

Sara winced, which wasn’t the reaction Liam had been quite expecting, but he went with it anyway. “That goes for you, too,” Liam said, with a nod in Scott’s direction. “This wasn’t what I had in mind when I thought about getting to know each other better, but it’s what we have. We have each other.”

Scott’s shoulders drooped as he exhaled loudly. “I let my temper get the better of me,” he started.

“It happens,” Liam said with a shrug, because he’d be a hypocrite if he didn’t understand, just a little, how Scott was feeling in that moment. Remembered just who it was who had talked him down from his own frustration earlier. 

“Still. I’m sorry and I mean it. You’re a good man, Kosta,” he said before getting to his feet. 

“Try to be,” Liam answered, still wondering if it would be enough. Sara reached for his hand and squeezed it reassuringly. 

“No matter what happens,” Scott said, shifting his weight from foot to foot, “we’re already a family.   Remember that, Sare. I’m glad I could be here with you. Both of you.”

Liam found himself overwhelmed by the unexpected acceptance, and his brain, so often unable to shut up, was almost bereft of a response. But only almost. “You really are Sara’s brother,” he exclaimed, half-awed.

“Liam,” Sara said, swatting at his thigh. She was blushing. 

Scott busied himself with his omnitool, as though trying to give them their privacy. Yet, the smallest of smiles played upon his lips. “Well, then. I think I’ll leave you two to it. Now, do you reckon Gil will still be awake?” 

Sara frowned. Liam took the moment to answer. “He never sleeps, so probably?” 

“Excellent.” Scott said, clapping his hands together. “Take care of each other, all right?” 

“Will do,” Sara assured him with a soft smile.

They both watched as Scott departed, a little spring in his step as his fingers flew, answering a returned message.

“So, that’s a thing?” Sara asked, bemusement evident on her features.

“I don’t…probably?” Liam said as Sara lay back on the bed, nestling her head against the pillows. He stretched out beside her, carefully crossing their limbs only in the places that she preferred, enthralled, as always, by just how magnificent and beautiful and _strong_  she was, inside and out. He still wished he could do more, but for now? This would have to suffice.

“You are,” Sara said abruptly, words skittering across the shell of his ear as he laid his head besides her. 

“I’m what?” 

“A good man,” Sara told him. “I still don’t know what I’m going to do, but your support? It still makes me feel like anything’s possible.” 

The words caused warmth to bloom in Liam’s chest. 

_He was enough._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So! While I have a very clear picture in mind of where this fic will end up, in the near future, we'll be having a few chapters that are more loosely outlined. With that being said, I was wondering if anyone had any particular relationships they'd like explored in this fic, whether it will be with a character who hasn't appeared yet or one even one that has. While I can't promise that every suggestion will work, here's your chance to let me know what kind of content you'd be interested in seeing! 
> 
> Cheers, pals, and your feedback still makes my life, even if I'm slow to respond at times (sorry about that!)


	7. Make Yourself

  **7\. Make Yourself**  

****A Pathfinder’s work was never-ending. While Sara had already thought herself a poor fit for the role previously, it turned out that finding a home had truly been _just_ the beginning. These days, the roads she forged were more abstract than literal. It meant meetings and paperwork and a whole litany of things that she wasn’t very good at. It meant conversations with Nexus leadership that had her biting her tongue harder and harder each time.

She took a certain amount of vindictive solace in the fact that Dad would’ve hated this, too. He’d never been one for sitting still for long, not without a project to ground him. Try as she might to fight it, the wanderlust, the thirst for exploration, it was in her blood. She longed for the days where she could traverse the galaxy with near-freedom.

Slumped up against the side of the sofa, Sara jumped as she felt her datapad almost slip off her lap. Notes, more notes and miscellaneous correspondence. The third wave of human colonists would be woken from cryo soon enough. It meant more lives in her hands, more responsibility than she’d asked for, or ever should’ve been given.

_There was one reason you were made Pathfinder,_ she reminded herself, _and it wasn’t for any of this._

She’d checked in on ‘Elizabeth Reilly’s’ cryo pod, made sure it was bumped _down_ the list far enough to buy her more time before people would begin to ask the hard questions. But it couldn’t be forestalled forever, and it made Sara acutely aware of just how much of her day was spent solving other people’s problems when what she really wanted to do was see if there was some way, somehow, she could save her mother.

It was a precarious enough position, all things considered.  She found herself wondering, not for the first time and certainly not for the last, how her father would’ve handled this particular difficulty.

Perhaps it wasn’t worth dwelling on.

She dwelled on it all the same.

Some days, she wished she possessed Scott’s level of cautious detachment. It wasn’t that he didn't care, but that he was more defensive. More able to allow rational reason take the forefront in his decision-making. Sara tried her best, she truly did, but at the end of the day, she couldn’t ignore the truth. She was not cut out for leadership, no matter how much her friends tried to convince her of the contrary. Still, the realisation scraped at her like sandpaper. Being foisted into the role didn’t make her any less determined to excel in it now that she was here.

When the door slid open, she jumped again, this time knocking the datapad clear off her legs and onto the floor. She was in a shit enough mood to leave it there. Right now, there was nothing she wanted more than to wrap her arms around Liam, bury her head in his shoulder and just forget everything she’d never wanted to know. She wanted to exist just as _Sara_ and not as the Pathfinder, not even as a Ryder. God knew that being a member of this family had created more heartache than happiness of late.

She wished to exist in a space she and Liam had carved out for just the two of them, their own little refuge from a galaxy of problems. Two galaxies of problems, really. The big problem, the one afflicting the Milky Way, nagged at the back of her mind, threatened to spill.

But, no. She couldn’t do it. She wouldn’t be the one to burden Liam with that knowledge.

It was already too late when Sara remembered Liam wouldn’t be home from his routine trip to Prodromos for several days. When she turned to stare at the visitor in her doorway, she couldn’t hide the way her face fell in disappointment. “Learn to knock, asshole,” she snapped at Scott before leaning down to pick up her datapad.

“Wow,” Scott said, making a beeline to the kitchen and placing the food he'd brought with him down on the counter, “is that any way to treat your favourite brother?”

Sara rolled her eyes. “Never should’ve given you door access. Have you considered just moving in already?”

“And what,” Scott said, dishing their dinner up on plates, “sleep on the couch? No, thanks. Who knows where it’s been?”

Data pad successfully retrieved, Sara wrinkled her nose as she slinked over to join Scott in the kitchen. “Gross,” she muttered, pulling her reconstituted OJ from the fridge and taking a deep swig straight from the bottle. 

Scott’s eyes twinkled. “Yeah, you are. Anyway, shove over, Sare, because tonight we’re _celebrating.”_

“With _my_ beer?” Sara asked, tone laden with mock offence, nonetheless shifting aside to let Scott retrieve a handful of bottles from the fridge. Four in total, two for the each of them.

“Hey, I bought them,” Scott argued, “so _technically_ , they’re mine. Anyway, can I just say how grateful I am that you’ve finally put it into bottles?”

Sara shook her head slowly, grabbing her utensils and their food before heading back to the couch. “I think the part where you gave them to us as a gift makes it _our_ beer. Anyway, it wasn’t me,” she clarified. She canted her head. “Liam’s doing.”

“God’s work,” Scott muttered reverently as they settled down, side by side. Sara really had to admire the way Scott made himself at home in situations like this, sitting slouched back into the corner of the sofa with his feet propped up on the edge of the coffee table. She didn’t have the heart to tell him off.

Poking at the food Scott had plated up for them, half-wondering exactly what it was and deciding it better not to ask, Sara twisted the top of one of her beers and clinked it against Scott’s now out-stretched bottle. “So, what are we celebrating, anyway?”

Scott took a deep, hearty gulp of his drink before looking up at Sara to beam at her. “My clean bill of health. I’ve been given official clearance to return to work.”

Sara wanted to be happy for him, she truly did. Why, then, did her smile seem so forced? “That’s great news,” she enthused softly, her gaze dropped instinctively to her bottle, settled between her knees.

“You’re not happy.” Scott deflated slightly, a frown settling on his face.

“No, no, I am!” Sara assured him with as much vigour as she could muster, almost spilling her beer on him in the process. God, all this sitting around had her restless. She felt the gears turn in her head as she did her best to remember the next step of the process, the process of being an appropriately supportive friend. “What will you be doing?”

Scott exhaled, fiddling with the bottle in his hands. “Well, I’ve been talking with Liam, and by extension, Mayor Bradley, and long story short, I’ve been asked to work with Prodromos’s security team.”

And there it was. With one simple sentence, Sara recognised her reluctant happiness for what it truly was: fear. Being able to spend quality time with Scott again was one of the few things that was making life on Meridian bearable. It wasn’t fair to take it out on Scott, nonetheless. Desperate to put some distance between herself and her feelings, Sara redirected. “And what does Gil think about all this?”

Scott looked shrewdly at Sara over the rim of his drink. “Whoa, since when did you care about _my_ relationships?”

“So that’s what it is, then? You’ve never bothered labelling things _before_.” The accusation of selfishness stung Sara, but she’d let it lie for now. On her worse days, she wouldn’t even bother arguing about it. Her mind was already a chorus of nagging voices berating her for her bad decisions, both before and after arriving in Andromeda.

_The Milky Way._ Thinking about it still made her heart hurt. She took a long sip of her beer to distract herself.

Scott folded his arms across his chest. “Yeah, it is. We’re together and even if this _does_ make things a bit harder, we’re going to make it work. We’re happy. You should try it some time.” Scott had sunk far enough in his seat that the collar of his hoodie was now high and tight around his neck.

Sara couldn’t help but think he looked like a turtle. Just a little bit.

“I’m happy,” Sara answered softly. Her words were hollow to her own ears. “I’m happy,” she repeated, more loudly.

She couldn’t even convince herself.

“You know, you could just come with me. I know Liam loves it here, but I reckon he’d be just as happy setting roots down on Eos. It'd make things easier, at least in the short-term.”

Sara scoffed. “You know I can’t do that. This is where we’ve settled, and humanity needs its Pathfinder.”

Scott reached towards her, laid a hand on her shoulder. She fought against the impulse to shrug it off, unable to look her twin in the eyes because she knew what she found there would be little more than concern. “Is that you speaking, or Dad?”  
   
She couldn’t answer.

“I won’t let you destroy yourself,” Scott continued. _Not like Dad did._ Sometimes it was hard to read between the lines with Scott. To tell if there were really things he was leaving unspoken or if she was simply imposing her own inferences.

But this time? Sara felt like she could be pretty damn sure. She nodded numbly.

“You know you can talk to me, right? About whatever you need. You don’t have to carry this burden alone.” _But you will anyway._ She wanted to tell him all about the things that were bothering her. But the words wouldn’t come. Besides, she’d been enough of a jerk today already.

“I know,” she told him, poking at her food. She still wasn’t sure what it was, but anything had to be better than the bland rations they’d consumed day in, day out when they’d first arrived in Heleus. “Thanks for this, by the way.”

“You’re welcome,” Scott told her, corners of his eyes crinkling as he smiled. “Soon we’re going to have real vegetables. Never thought I’d be this excited about eating my greens, but here we are.”

Sara laughed, feeling the tension she was carrying in her shoulders dissipate. “Wow. Andromeda really has changed you.” 

Scott’s smiled softened into something smaller, more reflective. “Hard not to. We almost died, Sare. For good.” It really said something about their adventures in the newfound galaxy that the clarification was actually necessary. “Can I ask you something?”

She resisted the temptation to point out he already had. “Yeah, go ahead,” she answered.

After a moment of contemplative silence, Scott looked up at her and asked, “If you could do anything in the universe, consequences be damned, what would you do?”

Had he asked her the same question several months ago, her answer would be immediate: she would run. Run, and not look back. It was half the reason she’d ended up in Heleus in the first place. Now, her answer had changed. She still ached to get far away from here, but there were one or two people that she'd like to take with her. Not unlike her trip to Andromeda.

So much had changed, and yet, nothing had at all. She was precisely back where she started, thirsting for an adventure that strayed just beyond her fingertips, still uncertain of her place in things. She loved her brother, and she loved Liam. Those were the only things she was sure of.

Suddenly, running off to Prodromos didn’t seem such a bad idea after all. If only she was the type of person who could convince herself to do so.

She had been silent too long. Scott was staring at her with unabashed curiosity. She ducked her head, staring down at her plate. “I don’t know,” she admitted. “It would be nice to spend more time with Liam. Without all…” She waved a hand toward her datapad. “ _…this_ weighing me down. I guess I’d also like to be able to dedicate more time to finding a cure for — for Mom without feeling guilty.”

“You _are_ the Pathfinder,” Scott pointed out. “You could outsource it, if you wanted.”

“And what?” Sara asked, lifting an eyebrow. “Let people know that Dad snuck a terminally ill woman onto the Hyperion?”

“Okay,” Scott conceded, shoving himself up to sit fully upright again, “I can see how that’s _probably_ not the best option. But if you ever found some people you trusted well enough, I wouldn’t discount it so quickly.”

“It’s something to think about,” Sara agreed, still not quite meeting Scott’s eyes. They both knew that it was a path she was unwilling to walk upon. It was one matter on which both Sara and her father would have agreed: it was a family matter, despite how much she wished the issue had never arisen in the first place.

Scott’s suggestion, however, give her an idea. An idea for what to do about her knowledge of the Milky Way.  “Scott,” she said, finally looking at him, “you’re a genius.”

Scott merely raised an eyebrow at her words. “Thanks, I guess. Happy to have helped.” 

Sara leaned in against him, bumping his shoulder with his own. “You’re welcome. And congratulations, by the way. You’re going to do great work.”

***

Scott stayed for several more hours. While Sara’s heart still ached at the thought of losing him so soon after getting him back, she was determined to find joy in the time they _did_ have together. After he left, she headed over to her terminal to tie up some loose ends from the day’s work. Looking over the cryopod list for the third-wave of colonists once more, and feeling that twisting nervousness in her gut, just like she had the first time she’d made the realisation. Families. They were going to wake up families.

She sent off a quick email to the other Pathfinders as well, suggesting a meeting for the next time they were all on the Nexus together. They deserved to know what she did, and maybe they could come up with a strategy for addressing the painful truth, together. She would, at least, feel slightly better for it.  When she asked SAM if she was making the right decision, the AI agreed with her, so there was that, as well.

She wondered when the AI’s approval had started to matter to her. Quite possibly at the same point in time where she had begun to truly consider him a person.

It was only when she’d changed into her sleepwear, ready for bed, that she remembered to check her personal email. There was just one unread message waiting for her.

It was from Liam.

**`**Still owe you that sunset.**  
`** `  
Sara,`

` That date we talked about, for next week? Remember to keep it free. Everything in Prodromos is coming along nicely. When was the last time you were here? I bet you’d hardly recognise it. That’s a good thing, I promise! Swing by when you can. Or maybe next time, we can come here together.`

` We get vacation days, right? Surely that extends to you as well. Don’t work too hard and take care of yourself. I’ll be home soon.  
Can’t wait to see you. `

` Love you,  
Liam. `

`P.S DON’T FORGET  
`    
Sara read the email over once, twice, three times before stepping away from her terminal with a smile on her face. She really did miss him. Recalling Scott’s words, not to mention her answer to his question, she considered again the fantasy of simply running away with Liam. It definitely wasn’t something that could be done in the immediate future, but maybe, one day?

It gave her something to look forward to, nonetheless. She couldn’t wait to see Liam again, no matter what he had up his sleeve.

He always did have the best surprises.

 


	8. No Place Like It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the slightly slower chapters of late: I'm participating in the Mass Effect Big Bang and it's been taking up my time/energy as we come up to the deadline! Hopefully after that's done and dusted I can return to something similar to my original schedule. :~)

**8\. No Place Like It**

Eos might not be as warm as Elaaden, but the weather would never approach what Liam might consider temperate. The population in Prodromos had trebled since its initial settlement, and the prefabs were fit to bursting. Temporary shelters had to be constructed, rings of tents surrounding the outpost proper.  

Prodromos’s popularity was unsurprising, to say the least. It was one of the most hospitable of the worlds the Initiative had set roots on so far, in terms of both weather and safety. After their rocky start in Heleus, people, of all races, gravitated towards stability.  

Liam was in his element. This was, after all, what he had come here to _do_. It felt good and right to finally be making some sort of measurable difference. He only wished that Sara could be here with him. He missed the feel of her hand within his own and mornings waking up next to her were beginning to feel like a distant memory.  

They would be reunited soon, but not soon enough. He was being selfish, he knew, but it was simple, really. He missed her.  

He was on his break, a fine sheen of sweat glistening on his brow as he hunkered down underneath one of the sporadic trees littering the landscape to flick through the messages on his omnitool. The ‘tool worked well enough for instant communication with anyone in Prodromos or any of the other burgeoning Eos settlements, but it couldn’t exactly traverse the galaxy yet. It was a shame, because all he _really_ wanted to be able to do while he had his lunch was talk to Sara. 

Shit. He really was making a fool of himself, wasn’t he? It was nice to have a moment to himself nonetheless, the chatter of people working together and shuttles coming and going fading into the distance as he checked the messages he _could_  read without a physical terminal. 

` **Scott:** Liam! Sending this now even though it won’t come through til we’re in range. Looking forward to making a new start in Prodromos. Gil’s coming with me today. Finally going to meet his friend Jill. Heard she doesn’t have long to go now ’til she pops. I’m a bit nervous, actually! Shh, don’t tell anyone.  `

` Thanks again for everything you’ve done for me. You’ll be seeing a lot more of me in the future, I hope you won’t regret it.  `

` Hahaha, of course you won’t. I’m delightful.  `

Liam smiled to himself, his fingers almost tapping out a message in response before he glanced over at the landing pad which he could barely make out in the distance. There was a shuttle landing now, and it could be the one Scott and Gil were riding in on or it might be coming a bit later. Either way, if Scott’s message had made its way onto Liam’s omnitool, the pair couldn’t be too far away now. He could save his thanks for later.

Scott might think himself indebted to Liam, but if you asked him, it was the other way around, really. Not only had Scott been an excellent source of support in his own right, always popping up when one needed him without even having to be asked, having some of Sara’s family around seemed to make her more comfortable, more at peace with their current situation. 

Not for the first time, he felt a pang of guilt for drawing Scott away from Meridian. But that was an issue to be addressed later. And it would be: he had a whole list of things he was working on improving. It was just who he was. Lately, the list was largely taken up with attending to Sara’s happiness. 

But that was just who he was, as well.

Having Scott around also meant having more insight into who Sara had been before Heleus, before Andromeda, before the Initiative, a subject that Sara herself was resolutely tight-lipped about. Not because she didn’t like talking about her past, she’d assured Liam during one too-tense moment where her walls had been drawn higher than intended, but because she just couldn’t afford herself the luxury of dwelling upon it. 

( _You’re more than just the Pathfinder to me,_  Liam had assured her _,_ and Sara had looked at him with tired, exhausted eyes. _Yeah, to you._ God, that must have been months ago.)

Earlier in the month, before Liam had left for his current round of work in Prodromos, Scott had, over drinks, let slip the date of his upcoming birthday, and by extension, _Sara’s_. Ever since, Liam’s gears had been turning in his head. He knew what he had to do. A party. He was going to throw her a party. And since he’d always been terrible at getting people physical presents, he’d decided what he’d do instead was to get all of their friends to come.Now, it was simply a matter of awaiting people's RSVPs, but he wouldn’t be able to that until he was back at his terminal. He wasn’t anticipating any more messages from the local guests; most of them, he’d extended an invitation to in person. 

But he was getting ahead of himself again. There was still plenty of time to plan the party. No, what he wanted, _needed,_ to do was put his finishing touches on tonight’s plans. Sara would be here by the time he knocked off, and he wasn’t sure if she remembered it, but today marked a year to the day that they’d taken their leap together, over the outskirts of Prodromos, and Liam had launched himself headfirst into the reality of what it meant to be to love Sara Ryder. Had finally struck up the courage to admit the words to her. 

Today seemed as good a day as any to celebrate their anniversary. 

His break would be over soon. Before returning to work, he pulled up one of his favourite images on his omni-tool. It was of Sara, of course, a still from one of the multitude of interviews she’d done after the battle. This one had delved into more _intimate_ subject matter than the others, and when Sara had been asked about whether she had a special someone, she’d scoffed at first.  
  
After all, she’d kissed Liam right on the livestream. It wasn’t like they’d been discreet. 

Then she’d looked up at the camera and smiled one of her bashful smiles. _I do_ , she’d confirmed, _and I couldn’t have done any of this without him._  
  
He still remembered how he’d felt the first time he’d seen the video. Yeah, sure, it hadn’t been anything he hadn’t heard before. Sara had always assured him of how instrumental he was to her well-being, even when he doubted it himself. _Especially_ when he doubted himself. But it was one thing to be told directly, and another entirely to have the sentiment expressed to the entire galaxy.

Whenever he looked at the picture, he was reminded of how much they meant to each other. Some days, more than others, he needed the reminder. 

Sometimes, he just wanted to see her smile.

Soon enough, he’d be able to see it in person. 

***

Liam was a bundle of nervous energy as he hovered around the landing zone. He’d never been very good at waiting, all things considered, and his impatience was getting the better of him. There wasn’t anything he could do to make Sara’s shuttle arrive any faster, and it was frustrating as hell. He tried to distract himself with thoughts of the evening ahead, mind running over the plans he’d made, but that didn’t help any. What if she didn’t like it? What if she thought it was stupid?  

He wasn’t aware of how much he was pacing, and how little attention he was paying to his surroundings, until he was startled out of his reverie by a hand at his shoulder. He whirled on the spot to identify the source of contact. When he did, he almost leapt out of his skin with elation. 

_Sara._ Without thinking, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to his chest in a crushing hug, hands mapping her back like he couldn’t believe she was real. Once he realised just how how tightly he was holding her, he half-expected her to squirm out of his grip. Instead, she merely rested her hands on his waist, his shirt thin enough her fingertips felt like hot pricks of heat against his skin. It had only been a number of weeks since they’d last been together, but it had still been too long. He rested his chin atop her head, breathed her in.   
  
“Surprise,” she whispered into their embrace, the warmth of her breath skirting against his throat. He could feel his hands grow clammy, his heart beating erratically in his chest. It was incredible, honestly, that she still made him feel this way after they’d been dating for this long. Part of him hoped she still made him feel like this for the rest of their life, but he’d take what he could get.  
  
“I managed to catch an earlier shuttle,” she told him, still clutching onto his shirt like her life depended on it. “Flew in with Gil and Scott, actually, and thought I’d take the time to see what Prodromos has been up to since I was here last. And I know it’s not as exciting as whatever you've got planned, but I thought I might try and sneak up on you.”  
  
Liam snorted. “Because you’re so boring and predictable the rest of the time.” 

Sara laughed in response, finally breaking away from Liam’s hold and shoving her hands in the pockets of her leather jacket. No armour. It was strange but _nice_ to see her this way away from Meridian. They’d worked hard on making Prodromos safe and liveable. It was good to start seeing results. “Honestly? It feels that way, sometimes. Meetings upon meetings upon meetings and attempts on my life have been few and far between. Haven’t even died once since we secured Meridian and I’m getting a bit bored. Would be nice to have the opportunity to jump off something tall again but…” she trailed off, pulling a face. “…when I spoke to Mayor Bradley earlier he warned me off any future mating flights. _Mating flights_ , ugh. We weren’t that bad, were we?”   
  
He felt his face heat up at the question, more than able to recall the events of that day in perfect detail. While it was stupid to have worried that Sara might’ve forgotten, he was glad to hear she cherished it all the same. “Oh, I don’t know,” he said, leaning in conspiratorially towards her, “I think we might’ve kissed in the sand.”  
  
Colour rose high in Sara’s cheeks. Did she used to get embarrassed this easily? She didn’t back down, however, instead folding her hands across her chest, Liam’s gaze following the movement a little more closely than it should. “Yeah, just a bit,” she teased.  
  
“Okay,” Liam conceded, “maybe there was some heavy petting.”   
  
Sara scoffed before reaching out to grasp Liam by the wrist. “And more, if I’d let you have your way. God, that was ages ago. I can’t believe it’s been that long since I was here last.”  
  
“You’ve never been back?”   
  
“Nope. A year, on the dot.” She glanced up slyly at him. “Happy anniversary, I guess? I assumed that’s what this was all about.”   
  
Liam’s disappointment must have been evident on his features because Sara immediately moved her hands to his shoulders in a gesture of comfort. “Hey, hey, I’m glad someone remembered to count _forward._ I only figured it out by looking back.” She blanched a little, possibly uncomfortable with the self-disclosure that had occurred even in the short, simple observation. Slipping her hand down his arm, towards his elbow, she gave it a light tug. “I can’t wait to see where we’re going. Come on!”   
  
Liam stumbled after Sara, boots dragging in the sand as he hastily rearranging their arms so they were interlocked and he could properly lead. “Well, it’s not got quite the amount of adrenaline-pumping action you’re after, but I hope you’ll like it all the same.”   
  
“We probably should hold off on giving Bradley another heart attack,” she agreed, swinging their arms at the same beat as the skip in her step. “He’s got enough on his plate.” 

“Aw,” Liam countered, “I don’t think Augie really minds.”   
  
“I’d rather not find out,” Sara insisted. “How _does_ he put up with you?”  
  
“I ask myself the same question,” Liam answered honestly. “Bit rich, coming from you, by the way.”   
  
“What, you take romantic walks at sunset with him, too? And here I thought I was special.” 

It _was_ romantic. Really, it was unfair how much the sky looked like something straight out of a vid. It was a stroke of luck, really. Liam could swear the orange streaks of light had seemed less vivid the night before, the sun smaller, world duller. 

Then again, it was all a matter of perception. Something to do with the eyeballs, probably, or maybe just because everything seemed more beautiful with Sara in the picture. He came to a sudden stop, Sara falling into step beside him, brow furrowed. “What’s here?”  
  
He moved in to kiss her, capturing her lips in a swift but chaste kiss. “Sorry,” he said, taking a step back. “Couldn’t help myself.”  
  
She shook her head, a smile slowly spreading across her face. Disentangling their arms, she cupped his face with one hand, fingers running over the stubble she found there. “Neither can I,” she admitted before pulling him down for another kiss. 

This time, he wasn’t so eager to break away.

It had been a while since Sara had initiated this much physical affection and Liam intended to savour every moment of it. She moulded her body to his and he marvelled in the way the curves and contours of their bodies fitted together perfectly.In their relative solitude, Prodromos little more than blinking lights in the distance, Liam grew bolder, letting his hands drop from their natural resting place on the small of Sara’s back to drift lower, lower, and _squeeze._

He drunk her in like a man parched, every caress of her tongue against his lips rejuvenating him. When they eventually, reluctantly, had to pull apart for air, he barely moved, their noses brushing as he fought to regulate his breathing.  
  
He felt like he had run a marathon. He felt like he’d _won_ a marathon.   
  
“I think we were going somewhere before we got distracted,” Sara whispered, her thumb tracing a line down his cheekbone.  
  
His hands were still on her arse. But their dinner wouldn’t wait forever. Scott had helped him set up earlier, and had volunteered to keep an eye on the food until a pre-arranged time. If they left it too long, it might be lost to the local wildlife and while it wouldn’t _ruin_ the night, Sara (and not to mention Scott) would never let him live it down.

It occurred to him then that Scott had known, the whole time, that Sara had arrived early, and yet had not let slip a single thing. The little shit. Liam didn’t have it in him to be properly mad, though. Mostly, he was just impressed. 

“Yeah,” he answered, finally pulling away and immediately regretting the lack of contact between them. “It’s not too far away from here. Hope you’re not averse to some climbing.”  
  
“Climbing!” Sara exclaimed, “And you said we wouldn’t get to do anything exciting.”   
  
“Hey, that’s _not_ what I said.”  
  
“Details, details,” she answered with a wave of a hand. There was now a five-minute climb, give or take, between them and their dinner, and Sara looked up at the wall of rock with a grin on her face.  
  
“Race you?” Liam asked.  
  
“How did you know?” she replied, not waiting a single second more before latching herself at the wall. Well, Liam would allow her to have the head-start. He did have longer arms, after all.

He was closing in on the finish line when there was a flash of blue next to him and Sara propelled herself to the top of the outcropping with a helping hand from her biotics. Liam wasn’t far behind her, and grumbled as he pulled himself up.

At least Sara looked pleased with herself. “You cheated,” he complained in playful accusation.

Sara shrugged. “You were too slow.”  
  
A sudden thought occurred to Liam. “You know, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you use your biotics outside of battle.”  
  
She averted her gaze quickly, suddenly becoming quite fascinated by some nearby shrubbery. “I don’t, usually. But you know me. Ultra-competitive. Always have to win.”  
  
Liam merely nodded, not wanting to push Sara further than she was willing to go.Her redirected attention meant that she soon found their supplies: Scott really had done a number on getting it set up since Liam had to leave. The picnic rug was already set out, a nice touch that Liam hadn’t thought of himself, a traditional red-and-white checkered pattern that made Sara roll her eyes, even as she sat down cross-legged upon it.   
  
“This is so cliche,” she complained, propping open the basket nearby to retrieve the cutlery in a series of motions that were almost automatic. She seemed to remember herself removing the plates, sitting back and waiting for Liam to make himself comfortable, the last lingering remnants ofsunlight illuminating her face with a golden glow as she beamed up at him.“But you really know how to keep your promises. I love it. Love you.”  
  
“I love you too,” Liam murmured in response, placing a hand on Sara’s knee.“Thought about getting a skywriter to leave a message up there, a little nod, you know, but then Augie really would get mad, and I have to _work_ here.” Another thought occurred to him at the mention of _work_. “You didn't tell me how your meeting went.” In fact, Sara hadn’t mentioned anything about her role as Pathfinder, or even about the Initiative since she’d got here.  
  
Maybe he shouldn’t have asked. Fortunately, Sara merely groaned and rolled her eyes, lifting one of the champagne glasses she’d retrieved from the basket. Liam remembered those glasses. They were the ones that Suvi had made shortly after the battle. “I’m going to need a drink before I start getting into my day.”  
  
Liam was more than happy to oblige. 

***

The rundown was: Tann was still a jerk, and as a consequence, Hayjer had been unable to attend the meeting Sara had called. She’d already rescheduled it, but was frustrated all the same. ‘I’m just trying to get shit done, but keep getting tied up by bureaucracy.’ In turn, Liam had updated her on Prodromos’s progress; Sara had been surprised but proud when she’d learnt that the outpost was almost self-sufficient. Most of the food in their picnic had been sourced locally; Sara’s favourite had been tomatoes. Prodromos’s population now had a grand total of five infants, with Gil’s son soon to be the sixth. ‘He must be ecstatic,’ Sara had noted, even though her face had dropped as she’d said the words.‘God, I haven’t spoken to him in ages.’  
  
It took all of Liam’s willpower not to spoil the next surprise. He wasn’t as close to Gil as he was to some of the others, but he figured that would change now Scott and Gil were dating. He looked forward to getting to know him better.   
  
Bellies full, the champagne bottle near-empty and the sun disappeared over the horizon, Sara nestled herself into the crook of Liam’s shoulder as they lay down on the rug together, legs lazily intertwined.Sara slipped her hands underneath Liam’s shirt and when he flinched she argued it was to keep her hands warm.   
  
“Thanks again for this,” Sara murmured. “For everything.”   
  
“Don’t mention it,” he said, with as much of a shrug he could manage in their current position. “I care about you. I want you to be happy.”  
  
Sara stilled, her fingers resting against his chest where before they’d been tapping away absent-mindedly. “I guess that’s what I’m not used to.”  
  
Liam frowned. “Scott,” he countered.   
  
Sara exhaled heavily through her nose. “Okay. But he’s not nearly as handsome.”  
   
“Ouch. Don't let him hear you say that.”

“His ego could do with some deflating,” she scoffed, but the words seemed to trouble her, as she quickly followed with, “That’s not fair. I guess I was always a bit jealous of him.”  
  
“Wait, _you_?” Liam asked, shifting over to look at Sara with all the surprise that the statement justified, head propped on chin. By all accounts, by both twins, Sara had always been the over-achiever.

“Yeah, me,” Sara replied, not quite meeting Liam’s eyes again. “Scott always made friends easily, and I just kind of followed him around. Scott’s more laid back, more casual. People took time to warm up to me.We had all the same friends growing up, and I didn’t make many new ones in the Alliance, which was probably for the best. I’d have just lost them anyway.” Whether she meant due to her father's dishonourable discharge or the journey to Andromeda, Liam wasn’t certain. At the end of the day, the two were related anyway. 

“Liam,” Sara started hesitantly, so different to her usual tone that the hairs on the back of Liam’s neck immediately stood on end. “Can I ask you something?”  
  
“Of course. Anything.”  
  
Her fingers resumed their rhythm against his chest.  
  
“How do you sleep at night knowing that everyone you know from … before is gone?”   
  
“Not as well as I’d like.” Then again, she’d already known that. Truth be told, Liam still wasn't sure he could give an answer the proper gravity it deserved.   
  
“All right. I walked right into that one. I’m not… questioning your judgement or anything. I know why you came here. I know what you’ve set out to do. And I admire it. But I couldn’t have done it. I wasn't even as close to my family as you were, but I couldn't have left them behind. Sometimes,” she continued, a small, sad smile forming on her face, “I’m worried that I'm becoming more like my dad than I ever wanted.”  
  
“Hey, don’t say that.” The past month or two since Sara had discovered the truth about her mother’s death had weighed heavily on her, and she'd always clouded over whenever her father was mentioned, even in passing. 

Then again, he remembered Scott saying something along those lines, back when Sara had disappeared for her Havarl expedition: _always took after Dad, for the better or the worse._ Liam still wasn’t, and never would be, in a position to make his own evaluation.  
  
He just had never known it’d been a fear of Sara’s. He drew her close into his chest again and held her against her chest. She breathed in deeply, shakily. “Another question. What's the most useful thing your parents ever taught you?”  
  
Liam’s mind flashed back to those days of being bullied in school, acting out, getting angry. When he got home, Mum would be angry, too, at least until she remembered to calm down. If anyone ever asked Liam which of his parents he took after more, it was definitely Mum.It was Dad who had sat him down and worked through things with him in a way he could understand. Helped him learn how he could figure out what made people tick. Made it easier to reach out, make friends, without pissing people off. And most importantly…  
  
“To never, ever give up,” he answered.  
  
“Funny,” Sara answered, corner of her mouth curling upwards. “Mine taught me the same thing.”  
  
They laughed in unison, Sara sitting upwards and slipping her hand out from his shirt. “I’d like to hear more about them, if you want to talk about them.”  
  
“I’d like that,” Liam admitted.   
  
“I can trade you stupid stories about Dad,” she answered with a smirk.  
  
“Not your mum?” he asked, lifting an eyebrow. 

Sara’s smile softened, but this time, she held his gaze. “I hope she’ll be able to tell you those for yourself.”

There was determination in her eyes, a resolution to a question that Liam did not know. But he didn’t have to. Her happiness was enough. Her smile was enough. He was happy, so happy, he was going to burst. Instead, he said, “Let’s get this packed up before it gets too dark. And, Sara?”  
  
“Yeah?” she answered, already moving.  
  
“I love you.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coming up next on Repopulating Heleus: birthday parties and Reapers (not necessarily in that order).


End file.
